oxygen (e.d.)

chapter nine

{riley}

i lay on my bed, tossing a small, rubber volleyball up and down.

"you seem stressed," sloane says from my vanity, where's she's trying a very outgoing purple-green eye look.

"i'm not," i lie, sitting upright and holding the ball to my chest, "just thinking."

i see her frown in the mirror and she says, "i thought we agreed i would do that for the both of us. i get worried, you know."

"about what?" i almost laugh.

"you," sloane says, getting up and sitting next to me on my bed.

"why?"

"because," she sighs, leaning her head on my shoulder, "you think too much."

"i know." i say quietly.

a moment passes, and she reads my mind, like always.

"stop thinking about him."

"i'm not?"

"you are," she insists, shaking my shoulders.

i look down, not being able to lie to my best friend.

"it's okay to still love him, you know?" she says, "but sometimes not all of your love can go into one person."

"elaborate."

"so basically," she starts a typical sloane story, "my first love was gabe royer. we dated for 7 months our sophomore year. he moved away and we tried to make long distance work, but he ended up cheating on me."

"how is this supposed to help me?" i deadpan.

"just wait," she insists, rolling her eyes.

"—anyway, we broke things off and i haven't talked to him in forever. but guess what? i'll always have love in my heart for him. you can't just take stuff like that back, riley. i'm learning to spread my love evenly."

"like butter on toast?" i ask, cracking a small smile.

"like butter on toast," she grins.

my phone dings, and sloane scrambles for it.

she likes to be my "secretary."

her face gets pale and her eyes bulge out of her head, so i immediately know something is wrong.

"what's going on?" i ask, urgency in my voice, "is it my parents? wyatt?"

"wyatt texted you," she says calmly, "asking if you'd want to go to lunch tomorrow."

"liar. what does it say?"

the doorbell rings, making both of our heads turn to my bedroom door.

i suddenly get a very bad feeling in my stomach.

"sloane give me it," i demand, holding out my hand.

she holds it close to her chest, and i tackle her.

i wrestle the phone out of her grasp, but i don't even need to read the text before i know what's going on.

"ethan!" a voice upstairs yells, excitedly.

"no," i whisper.

part of me wants to see his face again, but the other part is screaming at me to escape out the basement door.

i stand up, prepared to head for the door and run upstairs.

"no!" sloane grabs my arm, "you're just going to think about him more!"

"sloane, i'm fine."

"riley," she pleads, "this isn't good for you."

"five minutes." i promise, "five minutes and i'll be back."

"okay," she sighs, "a second longer and i'll come find you, got it?"

i nod my head and quietly rush up the stairs.

i'm about to fling the door open when i hear hushed voices.

"so what's her name?" i hear wyatt say.

this makes me stop in my tracks.

"rowen," ethan whispers, "and we had connection, bro, i'm telling you."

"what about riley?"

at least my brother still loves me.

"wyatt, she broke up with me. over and done with."

"i always had hope for you two," wyatt sighs.

honestly, so did i.

"riley is... riley. she molded me into someone i wasn't- maybe a better person, but it wasn't me."

"yeah, now you're a douchebag again." wyatt scoffs.

that makes me smile.

"look," i can almost see ethan rolls his eyes, "what i'm saying is i've closed that chapter of my life. time to start a new book."

"but you love her..."

"loved,"

ethan's correction is an anchor to my chest, dragging me down and crumpling me at my knees.

i was the one who broke up with him.

but that doesn't mean i ever stopped loving him.

"rowen is coming over tonight. grayson isn't happy, but i can't please everyone."

"clearly not," wyatt says, "but i'll give her a chance."

"thank you."