oxygen (e.d.)

chapter five

{riley}

"i cannot wait until we live together in my apartment. dorm life sucks." sloane emphasizes, taking clothes out of my suitcase and throwing them on the floor.

"it wasn't bad," i shrug, "but, yeah, it was small."

we sit on my floor and put shirts on hangers and fold up the rest of the stuff, listening to music and dancing slightly as we work.

after 2 hours, everything in my room is back to where it's supposed to be, and it reminds me of before i left for college.

"yikes," sloane cringes, looking at her phone, "my mom totally ate shit when she was coming down the stairs. gotta go bandage her up. is there anything else i can do?"

i glance around the room; "nope. go help your mom, but hurry."

"she's just being dramatic," sloane laughs on her way out.

i smile to myself, always amazed by my best friends way to make every situation light hearted, and scan my room.

"riley?" my mom yells into the hallway.

"yes?"

"can you run to the store and pick me up some ground beef? we're having tacos tonight."

"okay," i sigh.

"i'll give you my card and you can get something for yourself too,"

my ears perk up at that and i rush to grab my mom's purse.

"love you, bye!" i call as i run out the front door, scrambling to grab my car keys.

i drive to the store, for some reason excited to have something to do.

i pull into the parking lot, humming a song sloane introduced me to, and scan for open spaces.

my stomach drops when i see an all too familiar car.

i gulp, taking a long look at the white rubicon.

the doors are off, i think, he never liked taking the doors off. only for me.

i sit in my car for 10 minutes, debating on whether i should go to a different grocery store.

"no," i whisper out loud, "you can't keep running from a part of your life."

putting on a brave face, i walk calmly into the store.

i can't help but glance around for him as i walk to the meats section.

i let out a sigh of relief once i get there safely without any signs of ethan.

"um, two packages of ground beef please?" i ask the guy behind the meat counter.

he grunts in response and turns away to another section.

i read the signs above the counter, just for something to do.

"hey, bruce!"

i freeze in my tracks, wanting to make myself as invisible as possible.

if i were to choose a superpower, i think that'd be it.

"ethan!" the guy behind the counter smiles, looking past my head.

i don't dare turn around.

i hear him walk up to the counter, and i'm almost offended he hasn't recognized me yet.

like, hello? i was your first love? "one and only"?

"what special orders do you have for me today?" bruce laughs.

"um..." ethan ponders, looking around.

he looks in my direction and we make eye contact for 0.9 seconds, but i quickly turn my head, mortified.

part of me wants him to say something, but the other half wants him to keep quiet.

"riley," he mumbles, just to my disappointment.

"h-hey," i turn back to him, staring into the eyes that were once all mine.

bruce senses the awkward tension and walks away slowly.

smart.

"um," he clears his throat, "how've you been?"

"good," i nod my head, trying to seem more confident than i am.

"that's good."

silence settles for a few seconds, so i decide to talk.

"home for the summer-"

"how's the-"

we stutter over each others words, not knowing what to do.

"you first," he says with a small smile.

"home for the summer?" i ask.

"yup," he answers, trying to seem relaxed and bored, almost.

he can never trick me with emotions. i've spent way too much time with him.

"same. what was your question?"

"oh, nothing," he waves his hand, "wasn't important."

bruce comes back with my order and i say thank you with a smile.

"well, um, it's nice to see you again, ethan."

"you too, riley."

i walk away, wishing he didn't say my name.

it hurts too much.