oxygen (e.d.)

chapter twenty-eight

<ethan>
*1 day until birthday*

"rowen," i sigh, looking into her pale eyes, "is there something you're not telling me?"

she's been weird lately. not answering my calls or texts, smelling like other peoples cologne, and staying out really late, and she won't tell me what she's doing.

"relax, babe," she laughs, "it's all good. i'm all good. we're all good."

are we?

something isn't feeling right, but honestly i'm too scared to bring anything up. i'm constantly walking on eggshells around rowen, and it's pissing me off.

i grab her hand and rub my thumb over hers. she flinches, an instinct to pull it away.

her hands are cold.

i shudder and put mine back in my pocket, shaking off the icy feeling.

"one of my friends invited us to a beach party tomorrow," rowen suddenly grins, leaning forward to speak, "and i think it'll be fun."

"who's party?"

"i don't know," she frowns, "rachel, or ruby, or something."

my blood runs cold and i stop and stare through (hopefully not too noticeable) widened eyes.

"i-i can't go."

"uh yes," she giggles, "yes you can. it's fine. pretty much open invite."

"her name is rachel? and her birthday is tomorrow?"

june 28th.

name starts with r.

"i think," she wrinkles her nose and shrugs, "yeah, pretty sure it's rachel."

"promise?" i ask. in no way would i ever want to crash riley's party.

"jesus, relax. yes her name is rachel. i think." she whispers the last part, which doesn't make me any more reassured.

"okay," i breathe, "yeah, okay."

"good." she smiles and bolts into an upright sitting position, "i just got a new swimsuit and it really shows off..."

i turn out of her boring anecdote about how she got a new bathing suit, and let my mind wander to riley. and the party. and everything else.

"are you listening?" she snaps her fingers in front of my face."

"yeah... sorry. just a little- preoccupied."

"well i'm talking, so the attention is on me, 'kay?"

jeez.

"yeah," i apologize softly, "sorry. won't happen again."

"good. anyway..."

i try to listen, but end up getting lost.

it's just sometimes bland with rowen.

"are you spacing out again?" she accuses.

"no," i lie, "well, maybe."

"jerk," she mumbles and crosses her arms. she makes a big deal of looking the other way, at anything but me.

"well, i just have a problem-"

"nope," she says and holds up her hand, "if you're not going to listen to me there's no way i'm listening to you."

"but rowen, something's been bothering me-"

"i said no,"

"if you could just listen and let me speak-"

"shut up," she growls, whipping her head towards me.

"it's about us." i deadpan.

a flicker of fear flashes on her face, but he hard demeanor returns.

"nope. don't wanna hear it."

"but-"

"ethan i swear to god."

"okay," i sigh softly.

maybe it's not the right time.

......

hey. still processing today's vid. i'm so proud of them for coming out and talking about heavy things. i will still be doing this book bc i will never stop loving or caring for the twins.

have a good night.

love, d