Trap Queen: Part 2

Chapter Seventeen

"Fucking shit," I moaned as I rolled out of bed.

The tightness in my chest, beating heartbeat, and shortness of breath is signaling that I am about to have a bad panic attack. I'm surprised it's happening hours after leaving the hospital.

After we left the hospital, we drove straight back to Diablo's apartment. Gustavo got wasted once again, and Diablo joined him. I locked myself in his room to have some alone time to try to process everything that went down, but now, I'm not feeling so good.

It's two in the morning, and I have the urge to go for a walk. I know it's late, but I need it to not let this panic attack get to me.

There's no noise coming from the living room, so I'm betting the boys are either gone or passed out.

I crawl myself out of bed gently to avoid noise in case they are sleeping, and put my shoes on and grab my phone.

I make my way to the living room, and immediately see Gustavo passed out on the couch. Diablo was also starting to fall asleep too, but when he hears my footsteps, he lifts his head.

"Where are you going?" He said in a sleepy voice.

"I'm going for a walk."

"This late?"

I groan softly feeling the tightness in my chest worsen. "Yeah, I need it."

"Hold on I'll come with you," he said.

I nod. "I'll wait for you outside."

"Okay."

I step outside the apartment building, then take a big breath.

It's the middle of September, and the climate change to fall is starting to feel. The breeze is cool, and the smell of the lake water is in the air. All of this is distracting my brain into going to a panic mode which is fucking great.

About two minutes later, Diablo joins me, and we begin to walk on the sidewalk beside the large lake with a beautiful view in silence.

"Are you okay?" Diablo finally asks as we came to a stop to enjoy the view.

A smirk forms on my face. "I feel like you ask me that question a lot."

He smiles too. "You go through a lot of shit."

"Yeah," was I could say.

"Is your panic attack fading now?" He asks his gaze focused on the water.

I look at him in awe. "How'd you know-"

He flashes his killer smile again. "I remember every moment we ever had in our eight-year relationship. I know everything about you."

My heart melts. It's true. He knows me so well just as much as I know him. There were a lot of beautiful and ugly moments between us.

I remember when I had my first panic attack. It occurred after witnessing Dragon nearly kill someone during questioning of a rival member they caught. I was only 15. I ran out of the house and felt like I was going to die. It was a feeling of anxiety and fear that I had never felt before. God, it was bad. Diablo ran after me worried, trying to understand what I was going through. We walked like three miles until I could calm down and speak. It was terrible.

"I miss that," the words whisper out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

"Me too." He responded.

His eyes met mine, and my legs grow weak. At that moment, I realized that I have never really stop loving him.

I had to look away before I did anything stupid.

"I'm really worried for Gustavo," I said. "He doesn't look so good. He's been getting drunk ever since he found out about the baby and Melissa."