What have I done?
There was so much there. But I had to destroy it. Rivalries stay and lovegoes out the window. It's been a month and all I want is to hear his voice again. Sometimes, I forget how it sounds.
This is what I wanted. I don't want it now.
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"Aira!" Maribel exclaims.
"Yes?" I ask.
"You've seemed pretty down lately, what's wrong?" she states.
Maribel has been trying this over and over again since the day after I stopped talking to Eli. It goes the same everytime.
"Nothing's wrong!" I reply.
"I know you, Aira, and something's wrong," Maribel says.
Then I say everything is great. Joke around a bit and soon, I'm in the clear.
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I've decided to write a letter to Eli. I will never send it but maybe it will make me feel better. Safie does this. She says it helps.
Here it goes...
Dear Eli,
I miss you. I miss you so very much. I miss you in every way possible. I miss you with all of my heart. I miss you so much it hurts. It's like how the French say "I miss you." The direct translation is "You are missing from me." This is how I feel. I feel as if all of me has been ripped away.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for not talking to you. It was a mistake. It is a mistake. Everything I said to you that day, I wish I could take it all back. I know I can't.
I want to see you again. I want to see the ocean in your eyes again. The blue that was so perfect. The blue that relaxed me. The blue that was my rock, that I leaned back on,made me feel sercure. I want to hear the sound of your voice again. The music of a full piece orchestra couldn't compare to the music in your voice.
Eli- I didn't want to hurt you but I did. I'll be sorry forever.
Love,
Aira
I read it. Then I tear it in half. I don't want anyone to see it.
I feel slightly better.
When I look out my window, I see a single star. It stands out among the dark inky blue-black of the sky. This star is the first of the night.
"Starlight, star bright," I start the chant and don't take a breath until I finish it.

YOU ARE READING
The Search
Научная фантастикаIn the distant future, everyone must be married by the age of nineteen. If you are not married by your nineteenth birthday, the government chooses your spouse. This is a fate Aira is dreading. She's also dreading her parents choosing her husband. Bu...