Maybe if we were different- Reddie

4 (rewritten)

Richie couldn't believe it, his father killed again, word spread quickly, Derry was on complete lockdown, Cops lining the streets, "I can't believe he did this." Richie lays back on the extra bed in Bill's room, "You should've known." Stan shakes his head as he lights a cigarette, Bill's dad gave up on rules, ever since his mom left, "H-he killed your m-mom, what-what'd you ex-expect?", "You asshole! What the fuck happened!?" Richie is hit before being attacked by a redhead, "When did you get in here?" Stan looks around with a confused look, "Bev how'd you get out?", Richie asks, chucking, his voice muffled by Bev's shoulder, "I told the police I was coming home from work." She shrugs, "You wouldn't work a day in your life." Richie chuckles, "Hey!" Bev throws a pillow at him, "I'm kidding!", "Have you talked to Eddie?" The girl asks as she sits next to Stan, who was sitting on the floor, "No.. why? Does he want to talk to me?", Richie sits up, suddenly interested,  "He texted me asking how you were." Bev chuckles, Richie smiles to himself, Blushing ever so slightly, "He likes you too you know." Bev smiles, "I've heard.", "You should ask him to be your boyfriend." Stan suggests,  Richie knits his eyebrows together, "Why would I do that?", "Because you like him."...

"Can't believe they're making you go to school-", "Bev it's been 3 days, I don't even care anymore.. I just feel bad for Henry.", "His dad is dead now yeah, but at least he can be himself.", "Yeah, I saw him yesterday, he didn't look sad. Just... relieved.", "I would be too."...

The school was even weirder now that everyone knew Richie's dad was a killer... His teachers were sympathetic, Not that Richie wanted it, Richie didn't need much in his life, he was... not to sound edgy, but Richie was a lone wolf, sure he had Bill and Stan, but outside of school, He didn't know who he was anymore, and now his dad was gone, why did everything feel so wrong lately? maybe it was a phase, or maybe Richie would end up killing himself, all he knew at this very moment, was that Eddie Kasprick was asleep next to him, Richie loved watching the small boy sleep, his soft lips ever slightly apart, his hair messy, his freckles like golden specks, when he turned to his side, dug his face into Richie's armpit, Richie's heart fluttered every time, and he felt even more pathetic, could he love someone? His parents couldn't love each other, they couldn't even love Richie, but could Richie love Eddie?  Could Richie hold him on the cold nights, feed him soup while he shivers of sickness, kiss his tiny fingers. Richie could barely even feed himself sometimes, Richie couldn't love anyone, Richie couldn't even love himself. 

"Is something wrong?" Eddie asked, "No. Why would something be wrong?" Richie responded, walking slightly quicker, "Richie stop walking so fast-", Eddie grabs him, Richie turns around, "Nothing is wrong Eddie- can we just get to fucking math class-", "No. I don't want to go to math class.", "Your overreacting.", "Oh am I?" The smaller boy walks away, Richie couldn't move, he wanted to run after him, but he couldn't, "Richie?" A small voice speaks, he turns his head, Bev, "Huh?", "Walk me to math class?", Richie was angry inside, but he could never say no to Bev, she was an angel sent from heaven, "As long as you'll buy me lunch.", "Deal."... 

Richie liked to write down his thoughts, he didn't know how to deal with emotion, he didn't know how to speak, but he had a music book, and he wrote down all his emotions and turned them into a song, Richie didn't know Eddie for long, but he had written so many songs about the boy, and he was so scared that if Eddie had heard them, he would hate Richie, not because they were bad, but because of how disgustingly Richie was in love with him, and even if Richie didn't trust himself with Eddie's heart, Eddie trusted Richie with every broken bone in his body, And Eddie did admit that Eddie admitted that every night, every morning he woke up, every time he kissed Richie's pink lips, every time he dug himself a deeper hole, every time he settled deeper into the cracks of Richie's hands, He was falling so in love, and it made him sick, Was Richie's love just another placebo? Or the real thing, Eddie didn't know the difference, either way, he made him feel good, he made him feel drunk, and like an alcoholic, he wanted more, even if he was mad.

"Come on Richie- let me hear them-", "No Bev- leave me alone-" He pulls his book away from the redhead, "Bill have you heard them?", "Huh- heard what?", "His songs love." A sleepy stan says, "OH- yeah, he sings in the shower.", "So I'm the only one who hasn't?", "And Eddie-", "Can we not talk about Eddie- or my songs- or any of this?", "What's up with you today?" Bill chuckles, Richie throws him a dirty look, "He got in a fight with Eddie before Math.", "Oh-", "You have such a big mouth, Beverly." Richie rolls his eyes, "But you love me." She kisses his cheek, "That's the worst part- what the fuck do I do about this?", "Ask him to be your boyfriend.", "Yeah like that's gonna help.", "It will.", "I'm scared-", "Richie don't be, Love won't hurt you.", "I don't want to hurt him though.", "Then don't break him." Stan says, "Your not your dad hun, What happened will never happen with you, You can do this, we're all behind you." Bev smiles, putting her hand over Richie's, but he felt like he couldn't breathe, how was he supposed to handle someone so gentle, "How do i-", "Richie breathe, In and out." Bill gets up, "I-can't...", "Yes you can, Richie breath, everything will be okay."...