The Man Behind the Monster: Phantom of the Opera Story

31: The Prison of my Mind

ERIK'S POV

I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

I can't think.

I just feel numb. I don't feel real. Nothing around me feels real.

It has been three weeks since I was last in her presence. Three weeks since I felt like everything was right. Three weeks since I made her mine.

But, look at everything now. For the past three weeks, I've locked myself away into a dark room. I've covered all of the windows, so no one can see me and also, to sit in the sweet darkness.

I've stepped outside only three times. Once on each Sunday since Madame brought us here to Calais.

Brought... more like smuggled.

I have felt like such a burden upon Madame and poor Meg. I wonder what would happen if I just slipped away from all of this? Found my own way out of France, without Madame and Meg.

Where would I go? How would I get there?

How would I ever be able to reach out to my dear Elizabeth?

Elizabeth...

The fire that ignited my soul. The twinkle that sparks in my eye. The beat of my heart. The ache in my loins.

Alright Erik, get your mind out of the gutter.

I was snapped out of all my thoughts when a thin strip of light broke into the room.

"Erik, I've made your favorite tonight, soupe a l'oignon.", Madame broke the silence. There was a subtle hint of excitement in her voice.

"I am not hungry.", I plainly stated.

I didn't even look in her direction. I just stared at the wall in front of me.

"Erik... you haven't touched a bite of food in four days. You must be starving.", she said, concern laced in her voice.

"I am not."

"Are you at least drinking some water?", she asked. I heard her footsteps getting closer before I could see her silhouette standing in front of me. "You are concerning me deeply."

"I had a glass just the other day."

"That was the other day. How about today?", she asked.

"No."

I heard a sigh escaped her lips, before footsteps sounded. I thought she might've given up on trying to get me to eat or drink and left my room. But, when the room illuminated with a bright yellow glow, I knew I was wrong. I had to shield my eyes because they haven't seen much light lately.

Madame walked back over to me and gave me a once over.

"You are as pale as a ghost. You look like a skeleton with your face sunken in. My God Erik, please eat something.", she said, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

"I do not feel hungry, so why should I eat?", I asked, looking up to meet her gaze.

"Have you looked at yourself lately? You do not look like you, Erik. You look so frail and weak. It is not healthy to continue on like this. Please, I beg of you, please eat.", Madame begged, falling to her knees in front of me. "You are depressed. I know that. Leaving her behind was one of the hardest things to do, but if you focus in on the present, you will never look to the future. I am doing all of this and helping you to safety, so that you and Elizabeth can have a future together. You can't have a future with her if you die of starvation."