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Joji's POV
Retrying to confess my feelings for her worked. But now, everything isn't working out. I didn't know that commitment could steal your life and even your dreams. Joining 88 rising needed so much commitment. And i admit, i almost give my entire time everyday to it. And that's why she started to hate me. y/n hates me so much... I'm going home, straightly going to sleep because she won't talk to me at all. I don't always have time for arguments. I always lose my strength on performing, guesting and even for continuing making new songs. A guesting just ended and here i am, walking to our door. I feel bad for sometimes feeling like i should knock whenever i face our front door. It feels strange like it's not even my home anymore. Entering the apartment, the cold and dark ambiance greeted me. I looked around to see y/n. I slowly walked to our room.
"Babe i-" the empty room interrupted me. My breathing suddenly fasten. I immediately opened the light. "Babe?" i shouted, loud enough to make her hear it. Still, i didn't receive any response. Hearing my voice echoing convinced me that she's not home. My chest started to get heavy. I ran to our closet. With my heavy feeling, i opened its door immediately. I sighed after seeing her stuff still there. "Fuck..." i whispered then i sat on the floor leaned my elbow on top of my knees and covered my face with my hands. I always check our closet feeling that she might leave me anytime. And i can't live a fucking single day without her in my life.
Hours passed and she's still not home. I checked the time. It's almost 12 midnight. Where the hell is she? I slid my phone out of my backpack and dialed her number. "You should pick up..." i whispered stamping lightly the cold floor using my feet. I tried couple of times dialing but she didn't answer. "Where the hell on earth are you y/n..." i whispered getting so worried about her. Half an hour passed and i finally received a call from her. "Come on, you know what time is it?" i greeted her ears, answering the call. "I'm on my way." she coldly answer then she hung up. I threw the phone on the couch and sighed. I decided to take a shower. And while bathing, numerous thoughts filled my mind. What if she's seeing someone else? "Shit." i said getting pissed by my thoughts. I turned the shower off. And right after getting dressed, i heard the door opened. I immediately looked at her direction.
"Have you eaten?" she said without even looking at me or even kissing me, like we always do before. "I'm okay." i answered then jumped to our bed. I sat there watching her change. "Not even planning to tell me where you've been? I was so fucking worried." i said with my voice so down. I don't want to start a fight. "Why do you have to ask?" she immediately answered and those words kick the hell out of my temper. "What?" i said getting out of the bed and started walking to her. "Well it's because I'm just your fucking husband!" i shouted then my voice started echoing to our room. She sighed. I felt my face turned red, my hands clenched to fist. "That's it. You are my husband but you never act like one." she said again, without even looking at me. She always hurts me with her words and i always feel fucked up whenever she do this to me. I sighed for feeling knives entering my heart. "You know my thing. I always do work." i coldly said. "Why did you even marry me." she said but this time, looking into my eyes. Those words meant as if she's blaming herself for marrying me. I felt my eyes getting teary so i started to blink them away.
"Fuck." i whispered putting my hands on my hips and looking down. "You're so selfish." she whispered then hopped at the bed and closed her eyes. I looked at her. She doesn't cry at all. She looks so numb. "Babe, i-" she cutted me. "It's Mom's first death anniversary." she said then she faced the other side of the bed. My mouth opened as i started to knit my eyebrows while closing my eyes. I forgot! Why do i always forget things like this! I palmed my forehead anf sighed. I looked at her.
