The Confessions of Andora and Kai

Andora

Confession #10: Nothing hurts more than unrequited anything.

Today was awful because of three things:

1. I had a stomach virus that would not allow me to leave the toilet for more than ten minutes.

2. Hayden would not leave me alone and insisted I would watch the third season of Stranger Things.

3. Kai thought it would be a great idea to pop over at the house without a specific invitation.

"Someone just knocked on the door," Hayden mumbled in between munching on popcorn.

"Ok, go check who it is?" I shrugged.

"Why can't you?"

"Because I'm sick."

"But what if it's a robber coming to attack us?"

"Then you'll protect us?"

"Alright fine fat ass," He muttered hand on the pause button as he walked into the hallway.

"Watch it Hay," I yelled. "I just might give you hug of a life time and pass my virus onto you."

I snuggled back into my blanket staring at Eleven's terrified face as she fell into a void. The image held a weird meaning to me. For the past few days like Eleven I felt terrified. Terrified of myself, terrified of Zoey's, terrifed of seeing Kai's face. It seemed to all ironically shift that night, Zoey wanted to hang out with me all the time thankful that we were able to keep both her and Kai safe. She wanted me to go out with them more and said we "needed to bond". It felt like a cruel joke that I mussled myselt into. Of course, Zoey wanted to be friends exactly after I kissed Kai. Of course, she wanted Kai around when we did things oppposed to the nature she had before.

I had to come up with the most damndest excuses.

"When the hell did you join debate club?"

Zoey had felt she needed to confront me or more look higher than me so she mussled herself toward my resting body on the couch with her chin held high and arms crossed with a look of "I'm God and you just crossed the line."

"I joined with Aaron a few weeks ago. We're going to play a few practice rounds. I might even do a public forum debate," I shrugged using recycled jargon Aaron had fed to me when he complained about his team.

"Honestly doesn't seem so farfetched," Kai who was stationed on the couch with his phone in hand and eyes glued to the yellow light omitting from the phone. "She likes to argue a lot."

"See," I point to Kai for support before glaring very quickly a millisecond after interpreting his words further. "Arguing isn't debate."

"Then you have a lot of practice," He smirked. Then I got uncomfortable, it always happened with even the simple interactions. The friendliest greetings felt flirty, a sincere question felt too caring. I simply couldn't talk to him without guilt and the process of overthinking taking over my brain.

"KAI!" Hayden shrieked in a pubescent happiness.

I jolted my head of the arm of the couch catching a bit of whiplash as well as vertigo as I stood up for a quick escape. Kai was here. There was no escape, so I mussled myself back down on to couch and held the blanket around my face as if it would grant me invisibility.

Oh god.

"Andi!" Hayden appeared in the living room,  arms stationed around Kai's waist. "Kai's here."

"I see," I gave a weak smile. "Hey Kai."

"Hey," He smirked and then glance down at Hayden admiring eyes before looking back at me. "You look awful."

"I feel awful," I wheezed, "Caught someone's diseases."

"Probably Tom Palmer's cooties."

I narrowed my eyes, "Why are you here Kai?"

"Zoey had to take SATs so I dropped her off. She told me I could hang out here while she took it," He shrugged walking over to the couch with Hayden.

"Hey?" Hayden tilted his head staring intensely into Kai's eyes. "What happened to your eye?"

"Just a small tussle," Kai chuckled running his hands through his hair before laying his head down on the arm of the couch. "You should really see the other guy."

"With who?" I blurted out curiously.

He looked at me and shook his head. I knew exactly what that meant.

"Kai..."

"How about we just don't talk about it alright?" He nervously smiled. "So how have you been?"

"Ok."

"Ok as in good or ok as in bad?"

"I don't think there's a bad ok that's just not grammatically possible."

"Well how about something that describes how you feel with more than one word."

I sighed, "Now that's something you definitely don't want to hear."

"Oh therapy talk huh," Hayden looked between the both of us with a bit of distaste as well as boredom. "I'm out of here then."

Hayden grabbed his phone and marched up the stairs without a second look leaving us in awkward and painful silence.

"You noticed it's been awhile..." He sighed. "Since we talked."

"Yeah."

"I kind of just wanted to talk to you about..."

"Kai..."

"I know what your thinking, and it's not like that. See what happened was screwed up--truly. It shouldn't of happened, and as I find myself getting closer to Zoey I realize there's no way getting past it."

Screwed up.

Closer.

"We can't keep it a secret you know? I really like your sister and I know this is another road block that could break everything but I also know if we keep this from her any further it will break her heart."

Like.

Block.

Heart.

"You want to tell her," I repeat feeling a hole in my chest as if for some reason my heart sank to my stomach.

"Andi I know how you are about protecting her. And that's what I want to do, protect her. I know I'm shitty I know sometimes I screw up but Zoey is one of the most beautiful people I've ever encountered and if possible, if she wants to continue--I want to make it work."

"Ok," I spit out the words with a solemn swallow. "So when do you want to tell her? Today? Tomorrow?"

"When the time is right."

"When will the time ever be right Kai," I snapped. "Let's tell her when the sunsets, right? It will be beautiful."

"Why are you upset?"

Why was I upset? What did I expect? I mean what did I truly expect? I had no idea but for some reason I felt replaced, I felt broken and weak and I hated it.

"I'm not upset," I lie. "I'm just confused...with myself."

"Well, I'm thinking if we tell her it might end that," He shrugged. He always shrugged.

"Yeah I guess," I did the same hoping it would possibly give me the same power it might have given him whenever he did it.

When did we stop being friends?

I wanted to ask so badly but I could feel the smell of the forest overcoming me, and the grisly bear on its fours agressing itself toward me. I felt trapped and abandoned, damaged in a beautiful forest, as the emerald green leaves fell against my injured body.

A/N: So yes it's been a very long time I know but I have been trying to juggle my senior year and have spent the last two months aimlessly applying to schools and trying to graduate lol. I would like to say I'll try to post more but I definitely will say it will be more frequent than a period of two months I apologize for that and as my time opens up more once again I will try to post more often so here you go. Hope you guys enjoy it. Thankz for 60 votes!