Peter Parker's Family

Vines

A/N: I honestly don't know what to write. Like I have ideas but I don't know how to write them out 😅 Anyways, hope you guys enjoy whatever this was :)

Trigger Warnings:

Swearing

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and I'm sure as heck know I don't own Marvel

- - - -

[Third Person's POV]

Peter pouted as he glared angrily at Tony, "No."

Tony let out an annoyed sign, "Yes!"

Peter looked away, the pout still evident on his face, "No."

Letting out a small groan, Tony glared softly at the fifteen year old, "Peter, go finish your physics homework."

Peter stubbornly shook his head, even adding an extra hmph, "No."

Tony's mind went blank as he said the next few sentences, "Okay, you know what? You're on time out! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!"

As Tony tried to process what the hell he just said, he looked shocked as a pissed off Peter ran towards a chair and pushed it towards the fridge.

In shock, he watched Peter climb onto the chair before trying to get on top of the fridge, yelling out, "This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"

It was silent, no one made a sound as Tony's eyes went wide.

Before Peter could process what he just said, Tony's angry voice rang throughout the tower, "WHAT THE F-!"

- - -

It was 7:45am and the tower was hectic.

Peter was going to be late, again.

Tony quickly packed Peter's lunch as he yelled out, "Peter! Hurry up! You're going to be late to school!"

It a few seconds, he heard Peter stumbling into the kitchen.

Turning around, Tony handed him his lunch bag, "Okay we gotta hurry if you wanna make it on-wait what are you wearing?"

Peter was wearing tight pink sunglasses as he smiled playfully at Tony, "Bruh, chill! I don't know why you in a Big Time Rush!"

Peter turned to his right and smiled widely to no one as he hummed a tune.

It was silent as Tony stared awkwardly at Peter, "Um, what?"

- - -

Tony watched with curiosity as Peter stared at a yellow crayon, his eyebrows scrunched as he had a look of deep focus.

Out of nowhere, Sam came out and dramatically gasped, "PETER! Is that a weed!"

"No this is a crayon" Peter humorously answered before being interrupted by Sam, "IM CALLING THE POLICE!"

Sam ran to the microwave in the kitchen, Peter and Tony looking at him weirdly as he dialed 911.

However, Peter looked shocked as he heard "911 what's your emergency?"

"...wait what?"

- - -

A loud gunshot like sound startled the Avengers.

Quickly gearing up and assembling in the hallway, they ran into the kitchen only to see Peter giggling as he held up a fake wooden gun, his face slightly red from holding back laughter.

Clint glared daggers at Peter, "THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN'T FUCKEN LOVE YOU!"

Everyone except Clint, Sam, Peter and Natasha stared wide eyed at Clint, their jaw touching the ground.

It was silent for a few seconds before the four bursted out laughing, holding their sides as they grasped for air.

As they died of laughter, the rest of the Avengers looked at them wearily.

"I'm scared"

- - -

Tony, Clint, Sam and Steve were eating breakfast at the kitchen counter when Peter groggily walked into the kitchen.

As he moved to sit in between Clint and Steve, Clint glared at Peter, "uhmm you can't sit with us."

Before Tony could say something, Peter faked a smile and said in a cheery voice, "Actually, Megan, I can't sit anywhere. I have HEMORROIDES!"

Tony and Steve looked at Peter, shocked, "WHAT!"

- - -

This time it wasn't Tony who was being surprised, it was Bucky.

Peter and Bucky were driving to the grocery store when they noticed construction signs up ahead.

They passed a familiar sign that read 'Road Work Ahead' and Peter looked at it, slightly suspicious, "Road Work Ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does."

"Ummm" Bucky answered, not really knowing how to respond to that.

Seconds later, Peter rolled down his window before slightly sticking his head out and sassily yelling out, "FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS!"

"YOUNG MAN!"

- - -

Clint and Sam giggled shyly as Peter smirked, playing a few strings on a old guitar, "I love you bitch."

He played a quick sound before repeating his last statement with emphasis, "I ain't ever gonna stop loving you, BITCH!"

At that moment, Steve walked in, his face bright red, "Language!"

- - -

Peter angrily glared at a plastic doll before tugging her hair roughly, "Give me yo fucken money!"

Throwing the doll to the side, Clint popped out of the vents playing the Law and Order tune, "DUN DUN!"

Okay, Tony had enough.

"What the hell are you three idiots doing! What's up with all these ridiculous sayings" Tony asked, glaring sternly at the two.

Peter's face flushed as Clint opened his mouth wide and placed a hand over his heart, gasping dramatically, "How dare you insult the vine!? Show some respect!"

Tony seemed to stare at Clint suspiciously before finally letting out a sigh of annoyance, "What the hell does a plant have to do with your stupid sayings?!"

- - - -

A/N: Holy friggity frack!!!!! We've reached 4k reads already!!!! This is so amazing!! I'm so happy y'all, it has literally made my day!! You guys are amazing! Hope you guys have an amazing day/night! And as Robin William once stated, playing John Keating, "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary" Love ya!! GOOD DAY EVERYONE!

- xoxo,
the author