Watching over you ✔ (Lucifer fanfiction/Deckerstar)

Twenty years since Lucifer went back to Hell

It took Lucifer ten years until he decided that it was time to go back to Earth. He had spent the past years finding reasons not to go, from wanting to grant her freedom to not wanting to see her be completely over him now that he had given her the sign she'd been waiting for, even if she'd never know it had been him and not the wind who had done it. But he eventually ran out of reasons that didn't come down to one emotion: Yearning.

As much as he'd tried to push it aside, it wouldn't go away and it didn't want to be ignored any longer.

What if he had chosen a different path and stayed by her side twenty years ago? Would they have been able to build a solid relationship based on their love? Would they have been happy with each other and still be together now?

By the time they'd confessed their love to each other, he had been ready to give her the world, to give her everything she'd ever dreamed of. But then, staying on Earth would as likely as not have meant an early death for her. The amount of time and effort it had taken him to get the demons back under control and re-establish order in Hell was proof for that assumption.

Still, the yearning for the life he could have shared with her sometimes overwhelmed him. The amount of what-ifs blinded him then. He would now spend the rest of eternity wondering what could have been.

So since he'd realized that he could either let his yearning for a life as the man by the Detective's side stop him from ever going to Earth again or face head on that this wish would never become reality, like he had learned from Linda, he was gathering courage, and today was the day. He'd go up. He pushed Azrael's silver feather in between his white ones and, casting one last look around over his doomed kingdom from the top of his throne, steadied himself and took flight.

He frowned after landing on the roof of a hospital. That couldn't mean anything good. He hurried inside to look for the Detective, afraid of what he might find. Relief flooded through him when he spotted her in a hallway, alive and, at first sight, unharmed. She stood with her back to him, but he would have recognized her among a million people. When she turned around, he took in her face, visibly ageing now. Her slight wrinkles had deepened since the last time he'd seen her.

But what upset Lucifer was the expression on her face. She looked scared and flustered. Her fingers seemed agitated as they moved over her mobile phone's display to dial a number. The moment she raised the phone to her ear, she started pacing, and so did Lucifer. He couldn't just stand there, her uneasiness was contagious.

He was surprised to hear who was at the other end of the line.

"Dan?"

If she was calling him, that had to mean that...

"I'm at the hospital. Something seems to be wrong with the baby's heart. We're waiting for another doctor now. A specialist in neonatology. It's possible that the baby will need surgery as soon as it's born." — "No, I have no idea. They won't tell us more." — "Can you come over? Trixie needs us." — "Gynaecology section. Room 461." — "Great. Thanks, Dan."

She hung up and stuffed the phone in the back pocket of her jeans. Then she leaned with her back against the wall and covered her face in her hands.

"That can't be true," she murmured.

Lucifer didn't have to think twice.

"It won't be true," he whispered. It was out of the question to just stand by and let that happen.

After the Detective had regained her composure, she went through one of the green doors and Lucifer followed her. Trixie, now an adult woman, was lying on an examination couch, one hand restlessly running up and down over her swollen belly while the other was being held by a young man that had to be her husband or boyfriend. Both their faces were stained with tears.

"Dad is coming as fast as he can," the Detective said as she stood beside Trixie and ran her hand over her daughter's hair.

"Thanks mom."

A tear rolled down Trixie's cheek and her mother wiped it off.

"There's still hope. You heard the doctor, he wasn't sure if what he saw really is an anomaly."

She tried to sound reassuring, but the tremble in her voice and her teary eyes betrayed her.

"Right. I just hope the specialist will be here soon, this waiting is killing me."

"No matter what happens, remember that I love you," the man holding Trixie's hand said and kissed her forehead.

Lucifer had seen enough. He was done watching, he wanted to actually do something. He hoped with all his heart that he would be able to in his invisible state. He stepped close to Trixie and extended a hand towards her. During his time on Earth, he had always done all he could to avoid touching her, but he was over that.

His hand, only visible to himself, gently covered the lower half of the young woman's abdomen, and he closed his eyes in concentration, focusing on the tiny heartbeat he felt beneath his palm. With his eyes closed and his breath held, he observed its rhythm. It was indeed irregular. He was not a physician, but his supernatural perception allowed him to sense it.

Damn. This little human wasn't even born yet.

Lucifer directed his energy into his hand and willed it to leave through his skin. It cost him more effort than it had when he had saved the Detective's life after she'd been shot, despite the child he was saving now being so much smaller. He blamed Azrael's feather for it. But he was willing to suffer the agony, he had endured worse in his life. Slowly, he felt his vitality diffuse through his pores, and he directed it towards its purpose.

The little heart healed under his touch, and when it was finally beating normally, Lucifer withdrew his hand. It felt cold and lonely after this first touch he had shared with a human, or anyone at all, since he had held the Detective before flying to Hell. Exhaustion spread through him and left him weak and powerless. He stumbled backwards and sat down on the floor at the opposite side of the room, his back leaning against the wall.

Time passed agonizingly slow while they were all waiting. He wished he could speed it up, but that was beyond his powers, even if he hadn't just given part of his celestial energy away. He would recover soon, though. It was a matter of hours, or maybe distance. The Detective was close, after all.

When the doctor arrived, the tension was palpable. He didn't speak much, just introduced himself, and started an ultrasound right away. Everyone was frozen in place while he moved the ultrasonic probe over Trixie's belly to watch her baby's heart from all angles with his eyes fixed on the monitor. Finally, he put the instrument away and smiled at his patient.

"You're lucky, apparently it was a false alarm. There is nothing wrong with your baby's heart. It beats in a strong and steady rhythm and looks as healthy as it can be. I'm sorry if my colleague scared you. It sometimes happens that we're not sure how to interpret what we see, but that's why we have different specialists at this hospital. I assure you that your baby is fine."

The gasps of relief echoed loudly through the room as they held each other close and happy tears ran down their faces. The doctor excused himself to see another patient, and as soon as he was out of the door, Dan rushed in. He looked pale and stressed, but he relaxed as soon as he heard the good news.

After they had calmed down, he and the Detective left to wait outside, but Lucifer was too drained to follow them. Instead, he watched Trixie lay her hands on her belly and smile at the child that was growing inside her.

"Did you hear that, little monkey? Your heart is strong. You're gonna be fine. We're all gonna be fine. Just another month, and we will hold you in our arms."

Lucifer was still sitting in the same spot when dusk fell over Los Angeles, recovering. Only later, when he was already back in Hell, did he realize that he had managed to calm his yearning a bit. If he wasn't allowed a life with the Detective, at least what he had done for Trixie would forever make him a part of her life, even if it wasn't in the way he would have wished for.