𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎/𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

someone you loved

"Now I need somebody to know, somebody to heal
Somebody to have, just to know how it feels
It's easy to say, but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape..."

fillie

Millie had been crying for hours.

At least that is what it felt like.

As she sat on the swing, of the swing set that she once knew and atoned happy memories of her middle school years with. She couldn't help but feel like she didn't try hard enough, that she could have done something different.

She didn't really know what to feel.

Because she felt nothing.

She felt like she had been drained.

Emotionally and Physically.

But as she walked to her middle school that was in walking distance from her house, needing some air from her small room that was choked full of memories of him.

She felt like she could barely walk, she didn't even remember getting there. She hadn't started crying yet, the tears hadn't left her eyes but she had felt the need to let the water pour from her beautiful brown eyes.

She had felt the need to just let it out.

When she got to the school, standing in front of the building that held so many memories. The memories of where she first met him, the memories of where she first started liking him, loving him even.

It all came back to her and she wanted to dive headfirst into the ground, bury herself there and never come out. She felt the words of Somewhere Only We Know by Keane fill her ears, the urge to cry just became stronger and stronger.

She walked closer and closer to the swing set, looking over the swings. Trying to pick the right one from her memories, from the ones that squeaked to the ones that didn't.

She picked one of the ones that squeaked, knowing that because she had her headphones in and her music blasted that she wouldn't be able to hear it.

She placed her butt on the swing, swinging slightly, her body slightly moving as the swing did. She felt the music enter her ears, she emptied her mind.

Tried not to think of a thing.

Especially the fact that he lived a little over a mile or two from where she was. Also the fact that he used to ride his bike to school everyday in Middle School. She would meet him at the bike rack, they would talk but she couldn't remember what about.

The memories had either faded or been molded together with the knowing of him. The way his eyes would crinkle shut slightly when he laughed, the way that he liked to send memes to her, the way he would always ask her about her dad.

How he hadn't texted her in months or seen him in days. She could confide in him about her deepest insecurities, anxiety's and worries.

He wouldn't judge her, he would only sympathize and say that he had the exact same feelings. He felt the same way and he enjoyed sharing this with her.