Don't Panic (Jalex)

Post Break-Up Blues Sure Do Be Hittin' Different In The Apocalypse

Forget about us.

The words reverberate around in his head, repeating like a mantra as if to taunt him and his poor choice of words.

He thought "fuck you" was a bad enough way to end an argument, but "forget about us" just held this specific little, gut-wrenching feeling he couldn't quite put into words.

At the time, he meant to forget Zack, Rian, and himself, but now that he's thought about it more and more, it seems more like Alex accidentally broke up with the love of his life.

And that...
Well that hurts more than anything he or Jack said the day before.

Alex shakes his head as the memories of yesterday seem to just repeat until he's slowly losing his mind.

To recap what happened after the argument, Alex basically went back to their room after his breakdown on the rooftop and nearly had another breakdown right then.

All of Jack's stuff was gone and Alex's things were placed neatly in his suitcase.

It was like every emotion had just hit him all at once and then left him just the same.

And he was really, truly alone for the first time since middle school; and in the apocalypse no less.

It's like his worst nightmare come true.

But he sucked up his feelings and sat down on the bed just seconds before he finally let his emotions overtake him again.

He cried until he was out of tears to cry before he even noticed the note that was left on his pillow.

Alex had stared at that note with eyes blurred with tears until the tears had dried on his face.

On the folded up notebook paper, obviously torn from Alex's own lyric book, was Alex's name written in Jack's messy handwriting.

He should've read it.
He should read it now.

It's in the top left drawer of the dresser in the new room he just claimed.

He should just read it.
He should.
He knows he should.

But he can't.

Whatever's in that letter is not anything Alex wants to hear. What he wants to hear is Jack say "I was wrong," and "I love you," but that won't happen.

Whatever's in that letter is what Alex needs to hear. And he'll get enough of that shit from Rian in the next few days.

*****

However, Rian doesn't bug Alex with his motherly knowledge of real life. Instead, he keeps his distance and lets Alex go through the motions of a breakup.

As far as Rian knows, Alex has only dated one other person besides Jack. And while she and Alex got along pretty well, they didn't have the same spark that Jack and Alex have.

Rian has always kind of assumed that Jack and Alex are soulmates. Joined at the hip since middle school, the two had been the best of friends and eventually lovers their junior year of high school.

Jack had told Rian a few months earlier that he was thinking about proposing.

That knowledge alone makes Rian's heart break for both his friends.

*****

Alex denies food the whole first day Jack is gone. He stays in bed all day and leaves the room only to use the bathroom and grab water just so he can create more tears to cry out.

Zack and Rian are obviously worrying about him, but for the moment, Alex doesn't give two shits.

It's been an endless loop of crying, frustration, and feeling nauseous.

Too many thoughts bouncing around in his head and not enough food or energy in his system to allow him to translate his thoughts into the creative manner he's used to.

Until around five am the next morning when he finally finds the energy to pick up his acoustic and write the beginnings of a song he'll later call Oh, Calamity.

Sorry this chapter's a bit short, just felt right to end it off that way.
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