Don't Panic (Jalex)

Is It Really a Fic By Me If I Don't Mention My Ex At Least Once

Lucky for Alex and Jack, Rian and Zack are both asleep when they get back to the hotel.

It isn't til a three hour nap later that Alex realizes he still has Jack's hoodie. He trades it out for the extra flannel he brought and hangs the hoodie on the handle of Jack's door.
Alex later finds his other flannel on his seat at the table.

The two of them don't fight much anymore, but they hardly talk at all and that isn't much better. The tense environment they had created isn't gone, just changed a bit to fit the new circumstances.

Jack remembers every word they exchanged that night. Every kiss. Every moan.
And Alex won't look him in the eye.

It doesn't help that Zack and Rian are obviously curious as to what happened that night they disappeared. When Zack asks, however, Alex turns bright red makes up some half-baked excuse about passing out on the beach. Then he shuffled away, leaving the answer to Jack who just shrugs and laughs nervously.

It isn't til a few days later when Zack is out on a run and Jack is taking nap in his room that Rian finally asks Alex what really happened.

Alex chokes on the water he was drinking when Rian asks the question. He turns a bit pink and avoids eye contact as Rian sits down across from him at the table.
"W-what do you mean?" Alex laughs nervously. "I went to the beach. To see Richard."
Rian looks unimpressed by the obvious lie. "Yeah," he responds harshly, "I gathered that. I meant what happened to you and Jack? We though you guys were kidnapped or something."

Alex narrows his eyes. He hasn't missed the way everyone seems to ignore his questions about where Jack mysteriously disappeared to. He also hasn't missed the sudden worry the other three men have about some newfound danger Alex can't even recognize. They're obviously keeping something from him.
"What do you mean, kidnapped?" Alex asks Rian, praying for an answer to the questions he's had since Jack's return.
"You never answered my question."
"Yeah well, everyone been ignoring mine since day one."

Rian raises an eyebrow irritably and waits patiently for Alex to calm down.
Alex sighs, defeated, and then looks around, just to make sure no one's in hearing range.

He then lowers his voice before speaking. "I'm pretty sure I slept with Jack the other night."

They're both silent for a moment; Alex waiting for a reaction and Rian waiting for an explanation.

Finally Rian breaks the silence. "So?"
"So, I slept with Jack!" Alex whispers harshly.
"He's your boyfriend."
"I think we're broken up."

Rian stares at Alex incredulously.
Alex sighs. "I was black out drunk when we, uh, slept together and I left the next morning before Jack woke up."
"But you never black out." Rian sounds worried as he says this, his mom friend abilities kicking in at the last second.
"Yeah, well, I did."

Alex won't look up at Rian as he twiddles his thumbs beneath the table. Rian takes that as a sign to change the subject.

"Why are you acting all weird about it?" Rian asks after a few seconds of tense silence. He's pretty sure he understands, but he wants to ask anyway, just to be sure.
"Because I slept with Jack!" Alex exclaims, flinching at the sound of his own voice and turning around to make sure there's still no one listening.

"Fuck, Ri," Alex sighs, "I really fucked up this time."
Rian shakes his head. "You've slept with Jack thousands of times, You've been together since high school, except for that one tour, and you've been living together for just as long. Didn't Jack take your virginity-"
"Shut up, Rian!" Alex is turning a bit red now.

"Explain to me how you fucked up then?" Rian asks impatiently. He sits back and crosses his arms, like a parent waiting for a poorly made up excuse.
Alex just shrugs. "I left without saying anything. He was still asleep when I left."
"Has he talked to you about it?" Alex shakes his head. "Well than he probably understands."
"I dunno, Ri..." Alex half whispers. "This is all so fucked."
"Maybe," Rian agrees, "but you and Jack have made it through shit like this before. You'll bounce back."
Alex shakes his head again. "No Ri, not like this." Alex's voice wavers as he asks his next question. "What if it's really over this time?" He won't look up from his half eaten sandwich still sitting on the plate in front of him.

"Do you want it to be over?" Rian asks after a moment of thinking.
"No, but what if Jack does?"
Rian smiles. "You didn't see Jack before he left. I bet you haven't even asked why he came back. Besides, he has a higher tolerance for alcohol than you do, so I'm pretty sure he knew what he was doing. I think you did too."
"That was two weeks ago."
"A week and a half," Rian corrects.
"Still!" Alex sinks down miserably in his seat. "All we did since he got back is argue, and then..." his voice trails off for a second. Then he sighs. "God, I'm so stupid." Alex covers his face with his hands, frustrated.

Rian reaches across the table to lay a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Hey, it's awkward now, but maybe if you talk to him-"
"I can't talk to him. It's too late now."
"Is it?"
"I can't just go into his room and start asking questions like, 'Hey Jack remember when we had sex? Well it meant something to me even though I was blackout drunk. Wanna get back together?' Shit doesn't work like that, Ri."
"So go do something with him and let it come up on its own."
Alex shakes his head. "I dunno Ri-"
"We'll go to some bar as a group. It'll be fun."

Alex thinks about it for a moment. He wants to say no. He really, really wants to say no. But he nods and can't change his mind before Rian is already on his way out of the kitchen to gather everyone up for a nighttime adventure.

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