Don't Panic (Jalex)

Still Having Nightmares

Still Having Nightmares

Trigger warnings:
- Excessive drinking
- Panic attack
- Nightmares

Alex doesn't go to the beach the next day like he said he would.

Instead, he spends the next week locked in his hotel room, leaving only to grab food, water, or beer.

He spends his time locked away nursing hangover after hangover, writing song after song, and trying to ignore the nightmares that he had started to get.

Rian and Zack stop in occasionally just to see if Alex needs anything, but Alex usually shoos them away with a quick "I'm fine."
He knows they're worried, and he feels bad for worrying them, but he really just wants to be alone right now.

After that week, Alex returns to the beach to find a very angry Richard who had expected him to play a few songs seven days ago.

Alex apologizes, plays a mini set for the octopus, and then breaks into a nearby beach house to start up a secret alcohol stash.
Rian had decided to cut Alex off, so Alex needed a hiding place for the beer he stole from an abandoned grocery store after Rian locked up all the alcohol in the hotel.

Another week goes by and Alex has stopped by the beach every day to play Richard a few songs and then get drunk off his ass.
Maybe he's been waking up every night to the same sort of nightmares, but at least he doesn't have to deal with this shit during the day.

At least until Alex wakes up to his own blood curdling scream at 3 in the morning.
He's already having a panic attack by the time Rian and Zack come running in.

"Shit, Alex, what the hell?" Rian asks as he moves to sit down on the bed.
Alex is too busy struggling to breathe to respond with words.

Zack takes note of Alex's shallow breathing and asks Rian to go get some water while he tries to help Alex through it.
It takes a while because every time Alex's unsteady breathing starts to frustrate him he goes straight back to hyperventilating.

Zack sits on the edge of the bed while Rian waits out in the hall with a glass of water until Alex calms down.
It takes a while, but eventually his breathing is slowed to a normal enough pace.

Alex's hands may be shaking, but at least he's getting the right amount of oxygen now.

"So what happened?" Rian asks when Zack finally lets him into the room.
Alex shrugs. "It was just a nightmare. I'm fine."
"Alex, you just had a panic attack," Zack argues. "You're not fine."
"I am now!"

"Hey," Rian says before Alex and Zack can start arguing. "Both of you relax." He turns to look Alex in the eye. "We just woke up to you screaming. We thought you were dying. We just want to know what's going on."

Alex looks down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs. "It was just a nightmare."

Rian shakes his head, dropping the subject. "Alex, how much have you been drinking lately?"
"I dunno..."
"You reek of alcohol," Zack tells him. "How much?"
"Probably too much," Alex mutters.
"You have to stop," Rian says.
Alex scoffs. "I can deal with this seat at night, Rian, but not during the day!"

The three of them go silent when they realize what Alex just said.

Zack is the first to break the silence. "Find a new way to deal," he says softly. "Please."
"But-"
"Please?"
Alex nods solemnly, looking down at his hands.

Rian and Zack exchange A Look. Rian then takes a deep breath, as if to warn Alex of the unwanted question headed his was.
"How long have you been having these nightmares?" Rian asks.
"How long's Jack been gone?" Alex mutters under his breath.

The room is quiet, save for the sound of the air conditioner.
Zack reaches out to lay a hand on his friends shoulder. "Alex-"
"Don't touch me!" Alex suddenly snaps. He flinches at the sound of his own voice. "I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I just-"
"It's okay, Alex," Rian says softly. "It's late. We should all get some sleep."
Zack nods. "We're just down the hall of you need us."

Alex watches them leave and then curls up in his bed, trying to ignore the terrifying thoughts still racing in his mind.

A gun places against his lovers head
A smile once seen is now long dead
A helicopter crash
A house burns to ash
A monster now torn to shreds.

Alex holds a pillow over his head as visions from his nightmare flash through his memory.
He doesn't get much more sleep that night.

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