Dreams That Do Not Matter (gmw fanfiction)

Girl Meets High School part 1

Verity's POV

The summer is over before I know it and it is time for me and Missy to start at high school. This time, I'm looking forward to this year somehow. It's the first time we'll be starting a new school year with friends. 

I can distinctly remember that exactly a year ago, I told myself that nothing could possibly change in our lives. And look at how much has changed already. And I was so convinced this is one thing I couldn't be wrong about. I guess I can be wrong sometimes, which makes me feel a bit more optimistic. 

When we reach our new school, Lucas and Daniel are already waiting for us. The four of us have seen each other over the summer break, but we are still excited to be able to share this experience. 

"How come we haven't been to your place at all over the summer? Now that I think about it, I don't think me or Lucas have visited your home yet," Daniel muses.

I try to avoid the topic. Mostly, I've been hoping they wouldn't notice that. I cannot possibly take them to our run down house, because it may seem way too obvious from the state the building is in that me and Missy are the only ones taking care of it. So I try to cover that up, "That's because me and Missy are rarely there in the first place." 

We enter the building and look around, seeing it is much bigger than middle school. It is nearly impossible not to get lost or lose footing with all the people suddenly swarming into the hallway. 

Once the field is finally clear, two girls step closer to us and motion to a weird area that's just beneath the floor and close to the stairs. "Get in the hole," the brown-haired one says. 

I look at her and observe her face and body language for about half a minute in silence. When she starts to get nervous because of nobody saying anything, I start, "Thanks a lot. And it's not that I don't enjoy people-watching, but I spent most of my life doing just that."

"Yeah," Missy pipes up. "And if it's about that, you don't have to worry about us. The two of us are twins and when it comes to them," she motions with her hand to Lucas and Daniel next to us, "we've kind of already been there," she refers to Lucas and Daniel leaving us. Yeah, it doesn't seem like we're gonna have a repeat of that. And if it does happen again, then it means we weren't supposed to be friends in the first place. 

"Oh, I guess we got the wrong group," the blonde one sighs. 

A tall boy approaches them and Lucas looks at him bewildered. I look at them closely again and then ask, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but are the three of you in a triangle?"

"Yeah, it's been going on for years," the browned-haired one of the pair of girls says in frustration. Then they walk away to find someone else to help stay friends and not drift apart in the first days of high school. 

"How can one be in a triangle for so long?" Daniel wonders. "One would think he would already have chosen one of them."

"I don't think I believe in triangles," I mumble offhandedly. 

"Why is that?" Lucas catches onto my thoughts and asks. 

"It's just that, nobody is capable of actually being in love with two people at the same time. You either love the first one of them or the other one and you only mistake whatever you think of the second person for love. Or you love neither of them and the whole thing was just an illusion or your wishful thinking," I explain.

Missy, Lucas and Daniel stare at me for a moment, probably due to the fact that I don't typically talk about love. The way Lucas looks at me reminds me that the two of us are probably due to have a real talk sometime. 

The school bell rings and signals that it's time for us to go to class. All four of us have History first. We enter the classroom together, but before we get the chance to look around, we hear, "Good morning and welcome to World History. Who's ready to learn?"

Guess who is here? Mr. Matthews, my "absolutely favorite" history teacher from middle school. Yaay! Why do those things have to keep happening to me? I mentally prepare myself for another year (or possibly more) of lessons concerning Riley's life. I guess there are still some things that do not change so easily. 

"What's there on the board" I hear some girl I don't know ask. 

"We were kings. Now we're patriots," Mr. Matthews reads aloud and just now, I notice that there really is a writing on the board. So it's about that again. Relearning about not being the center of the universe. But it's not like I have any right to complain. I have many good things in my life that I shouldn't forget about or be ungrateful for. It doesn't matter that there are some things that do not go the way I would like them. 

And so, the rest of the class passes slowly, not much being said except for Riley and her group discussing their current situation (apparently, they are the kind of group the two girls from this morning were looking for).

When I step out of the classroom, I get a weird feeling somewhere in my head, kind of like a surge of electricity or something, and I gasp, pressing fingers to my temples. But when nothing happens after that, I pass it off. It's not like I don't have enough reasons to feel weird. I head to my next class, which is science. 

After that, I have free period, which I intend to spend in the library with Missy. Suddenly, I find myself in the middle of the hallway. I start blinking rapidly. I feel dizzy and my breathing just doesn't feel right no matter what. Then, for about two seconds, I lose the ground beneath my feet and I find that I'm sprawled on the floor in the same hallway. After several attempts to clear my vision, I see Missy, Lucas and Daniel looking at me worriedly. 

"What's wrong, Verity? You scared us," Missy says in a hushed tone, although it doesn't look like this has caught anyone's attention, everyone is in their respective classes. 

I shake my head, "No, I'm fine. You don't need to worry." I feel Lucas' silent stare before I fix my gaze on him, but I wish I hadn't. His silent worry speaks louder than words.

"Should I take you home?" Missy offers. 

"No, you shouldn't miss your first day of high school because of me. I can go by myself. I'll be fine, I promise," I reassure her. 

Lucas attempts to stop me  by putting his hand on my shoulder, but I gently take it in mine and put it down. Then I proceed to walk out of the building and head to the subway station. 

Throughout my whole way home, I keep worrying. This has never happened to me before. But, I tell myself, it's nothing so special. It doesn't necessarily means some problem needing medical attention. In fact, with how exhausting my life is and the complete lack of sleep, it shouldn't even shock me. In fact, I knew this was due to happen at some point. I've just always been hoping to push that moment as far into the future as possible. Guess that's over now. 

Perhaps that's even worse. If it was a medical issue, it could at least be fixed and I would be fine. But if it's due to exhaustion, there is really nothing I can do with that. I don't think that's about to change anytime soon. Does it mean that it will become a normal occurrence? I don't want that. 

I enter the house and I see that it is ransacked. Things are out of drawers and cupboards, misplaced, on the ground or broken. Unfortunately, that's starting to be almost a daily occurrence by now. I'm starting to be scared of coming home together with Missy and her having to see this firsthand. 

The only room that is in its normal state, the way we left it, is our room. I believe our father hasn't stepped in our room since our mom died. 

I check the whole house for traces of blood, looking at everything closely. Luckily, I don't find any. That doesn't have to mean everything's at least fine or whatever the definition of fine is in this household, but it is a little bit of comfort at least. As long as I don't find blood or our father's body somewhere around, it should be okay, right? At least, I hope so. I desperately want to believe that. 

It is really not my place to complain, is it? So what if I have to clean things up here a bit, fix some object or earn a bit more money to replace the destroyed ones? It doesn't matter. I don't mind at all. 

As long as he is breathing, I can go through that. It is fine, right?