Moon Lover: Shawn Mendes ✔️

Change Is Good

Shawn remained on his knees, body shaking slightly. He had calmed down after a few minutes and lifted his head, his hands unintentionally slipping up her thighs and near her pockets but she moves his hands, not wanting him to accidentally feel the toxic drug in her pocket.

"Shawn" Ayla calls quietly. He hums looking up at her though his wet lashes. "I need to go, the bar is opening soon"

He nods quickly pulling back, he wipes his runny nose with his sleeve and gets up. Hesitantly, he puts a hand out for her. Ayla sighs deeply, her hand falling into Shawn's and he effortlessly lifts her up, embracing her fragile body into a tight hug.

His head nestling into the crook of her neck to feel her warmth, Ayla relaxes and lets her body mound with his.

"He's never coming back, is he?"

Shawn shakes his head no. "I'm sorry" his long fingers weave into her soft hair.

"I'm so fucking sorry Ayla"

She hums not knowing how to respond, slowly she pulls back and Shawn looks away ashamed.

"Meet me on Tuesday, by the river where the boats cross. We can talk" Ayla says thinking with her heart. She knew deep inside she couldn't live in the present if her heart was in the past. It was simply time for change which she feared yet wanted to accept.

Shawn looks up at her completely taken back. "You want to talk?" He asks baffled.

She nods timidly tugging at her sleeves. "You're not forgiven but for some reason I feel like you're the only one I can talk to-"

"You can talk to me all you want" he excitedly overlaps her. Ayla nods looking down at her feet. "I'll see you Tuesday"

"Tuesday" Shawn nods.
-

As Ayla waited on that Tuesday, she let her mind relax and her shoulders roll back. She thought about what Jacob had said; "you're waiting for something that will never happen"

And it's true. As much as she wanted to believe Ace would magically remember her she knew that wouldn't happen. She knew it was time to think rationally, more with her head rather than just her hopeless, torn heart.

She knew she needed comfort, that comfort she could only find in Shawn.

No, she hadn't forgiven him but it seemed she could be herself around him.

"Sorry I'm late" Shawn pants stopping in front of Ayla. She shakes her head "it's okay, the boats pass every fifteen minutes" she tells him.

Shawn nods sitting beside her. "For you" he pushes the flowers from his chest towards her. "You didn't have to-"

"I wanted to, I missed giving you flowers for a whole year" he says. He would always give her flowers.

She nods taking the roses on her lap. Then none of them spoke. They simply sat in silence watching the world go by for those fifteen minutes.

"Boats here" Shawn clears his throat awkwardly. Ayla gets up following him, Shawn hops down first then holds his hand out to her. She takes it, his warm hand wrapping around hers. His other hand goes to her waist, getting her down in the boat. Without letting go they sit, their locked hands sat on Shawn's lap.

"It's so pretty"

Ayla nods, she faces him to see him already gazing at her with his love-sick eyes.

They both felt weird. They knew they weren't really friends. Ayla had yet to forgive Shawn and Shawn had yet to earn her trust back.

"I'm moving on" she speaks up. Shawn nods unintentionally licking his already pink lips. "Jacob told me I can't sit around waiting. I can't hold a grudge and watch life pass on, I need to experience life without feeling anger towards everything... so you're erm forgiven" she tells him, it was hard for her to say but she meant it, after all forgiveness is inevitable when it comes to love.

Shawn's eyes go wide, his lips parting but he doesn't say anything.

"Shawn-"

"Thank you"

"Forgiven but not forgotten. I've been bottling everything up since then and I've not properly healed, as Jacob said-"

"That's Okay" Shawn cuts her off. Ayla smiles gently nodding. "That Jacob is a wise kid huh?" Shawn comments, he made a metal note to thank him for keeping Ayla sane.

"He is. He's erm actually three years older than me, he's twenty six" she randomly says.

"Always had a thing for older guys eh" he blurts out. Ayla look up at him letting out a small laugh, a first genuine laugh.

"I guess so. I mean Ace was two years older and so are you" she nods, Shawn copies her nods not really knowing what else to say.

"He erm has no family" She continues. "He was adopted when he was six but he's no longer in touch with his foster parents, says he's better off a free spirit" she smiles gently. "and I bought the bar off of him. He's nice, kind and gives really good advice" she adds on.

"He seems nice" Shawn agrees.

There was that silence again. Ayla hums shortly, her head naturally leaning against Shawn's shoulder. He tenses up then relaxes, his hand gently squeezing hers when he feels his heart flutter.

They both watch the calm waters, intricate details on the buildings, families and friends pass by as they sit together in silence.

-
"So a trainer huh?"

"Yep, it's nice. I work at that gym I used to go to" Shawn answers, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Ayla walking beside him with her arms crossed over her chest as the wind started to pick up. They would occasionally bump into each other, making them both look at each other with a small, hopeful smile.

After the boat ride and a trip to a pizza parlour they were on the hunt for an ice cream shop.

They had minimal talk, they both knew this was the awkward stage.

"Over there" Shawn nods toward the right. "Finally" she sighs. She walks slightly ahead of Shawn and he simply follows behind her.

"What're you going to get?" He asks her, watching as she licks her lips and leans down to look over all the flavours.

"Erm strawberry sorbet, you?"

"Chocolate"

Ayla scrunches her eyebrows. "So boring" she mumbles. Shawn smirks down at her.

"Go sit down, I'll get them" he tells her. She nods walking away finding a small circular table for two.

Shawn turns towards the cashier. "Strawberry sorbet and chocolate, sir?" He asks.

"Erm leave the chocolate, I'll have s'mores please"

"Very well" the cashier nods. He quickly scoops up the ice cream and hands it to Shawn, who pays and sits opposite Ayla.

Her legs between his as he sits with his large thighs apart, feeling her leg brush his sending his knees and heart weak.

"You changed it?" She asks picking up the wooden spoon. "Hmm I'm changing, change is good" Shawn nods looking directly into her emerald eyes.

"Change is good" she agrees firmly. She looks away taking a scoop of the ice cream and her face turns bitter.

Shawn chuckles as she faces him. "How is it?"

"Erm great" she mumbles trying to slowly swallow. "We can share mine" he nudges his ice cream toward her with an innocent smirk. She smiles warmly, moving a little closer.