Sotus: Hiraeth [Complete]

8.silence before storm

Arthit

Arthit was never a morning person he can easily sleep till noon at any given day. But today somehow he woke up at 6 Am and couldn't fall asleep however he tried to. Finally he decided to greet the morning sun after many years. Turning to his side he smiled at Kongpob sleeping on his back with both his palms resting on his stomach , legs straight - perfect posture to sleep. Is there any thing his doctor not perfect at ? 'His doctor' that's what he calls him in his mind - never aloud ....he doesn't wants to jinx it. He knows he will never deserve him- but he will try his best. He doesn't want to waste away his life in dark. He will hold the hand of his doctor with all his might and crawl towards light if he can't walk to it.

He is aware of the ways he messes up, he is aware of his own fucked up personality. But he is hopeful, there is still a way for him to be able to deserve normal life - may be even love.

Even last night - he knows he messed up again. However he tries it never seems to be enough, he always gets dragged in the dark - negativity in him doesn't want to lose its hold on him. Claws of anger has him so deep in its clutches that many a times he is unable to think before acting. But there is no use to regret. He can only thank to this beautiful soul laying beside him who urges him to fight and better himself each second. Kongpob is the only reason he has not given up even after messing up umpteenth time. He is the only reason he vows to to be better. He had started dreaming again after three years - this time he is not dreaming of freedom or loving touch - a single word that would tell him he is meaningful.

This time his mind is painting a picture of a cozy home on country side- a little away from hustle of city life with him and his doctor lazily enjoying morning rays, playing with their dog, enjoying gardening or even cuddling in their very own bed. He dreams of many things - not for him but for them. 'My' word is slowly being replaced with 'our' in his mind. Though this picture is still faint, blurred and hazy. He is deteimed to make it real with bright colour and happy aura.

Kissing Kongpob on forehead Arthit climbed off the bed start his day. He took a short morning walk under the rising sun. Everything looks a little more beautiful to him lately. He found sunlight more warm sky more bright, even chirping of birds were music to his ears. It's like hope is running through his veins instead of blood. His mind wandered to yesterday's events, maybe he should have listened to his manager.

After talking with Kongpob last night Arthit decided to talk to P'Jane. Though he was still very much hurt he agreed with Kongpob that there may be a reason P'Jane agreed to Arthit being cast in the same movie as Thaksirat. He had shoot in afternoon, he decided to clear the matter with P'Jane before scheduled shooting time since he cannot let this thing affect his acting and ruin his chances of being a silver screen star.

............

At his penthouse apartment

Arthit sat with his manager for brunch at his own apartment. It would be good to clear misunderstanding in his own space rather than set or any other place where there could be prying ears.

Being younger Arthit decided to apologise first and also it was a move in interest of giving P'Jane benifit of doubt.

" P'Jane , I'm sorry for my behaviour yesterday. I should have listened to your side of things."

P'Jane looked surprise by Arthit's intiative to ask for apology
" It's okay na Nong. I tried to tell you many times but you weren't ready to listen. As your Phi I believe I should have tried more to tell you about Thaksirat being the lead in the movie. But as your manager I thought it is big opportunity for you that you should cash and that old cougar owes you this much. His movies garner mass audience, it is sure to garner more fan base for you. There was also a factor that You have no scenes with Thaksirat in this movie, you are not in same frame with him even for a second. I thought that should be enough. But after seeing him on the set yesterday I'm having second thoughts on my decision. May be this time I really wronged you Nong. Though unintentionally but I really betrayed you this time."