Secrets ↠ Peter Parker

16

(Y/N POV)

falling.

Peter.

Parker.

Who is he?

I can't think about him without going back to that moment. Bloodstained lips, bruised cheeks, and lifeless eyes. Watching him fall to his death was the worst moment of my life, and I didn't want to lose him.

Yet I did.

Three times.

Was it my fault?

I shot up, my head banging with a dizzy feeling. I was almost alarming to find myself back in my room, the lingering feeling of my trip to Wakanda still in the back of my head.

I scratched the back of my head, my fingers getting stuck in my tangled hair, and yawned carelessly. The soft patter of rain hitting my window echoed from outside, and I stared at the grey sky.

It made me feel lonely.

I let my bare feet hang over the side of my bed as I stared at the worn carpet on the ground. My stomach grumbled with hunger, but I didn't have the strength to get up and find food. My vanity mirror was blurry from the cold air, yet I could still see how bad I looked.

Dark bags under my eyes, untamable hair, and a scar running down the middle of my lip.

"What?" I muttered, leaning closer to my reflection.

I've bitten my lip before, but it never left a mark like this one. A slim white line was permanently inked onto my bottom lip, nothing I've seen before. I rubbed it with my thumb, hoping it would go away, but it seemed to be stuck there.

"Ethan," I groaned, "what's wrong with my lips?"

"Nothing, Miss Stark."

"Then what's this line?"

"Scar tissue. It should go away in a few days."

"Really?" I mumbled. I didn't really believe it, but I took Ethan's word for it. "Could you play my Sad morning playlist?"

"Of course."

Memories by Maroon 5 started to play from the speakers, and I sunk back into my pillows. My head hit the mattress, but I wished I could sink into an empty abyss. The tower was never usually this quiet, but I hated how awful it was. I used to like the silence, that year after my dad died, but now it made my stomach churn with guilt.

It really was my fault, wasn't it?

I kept pushing Peter away, and all he wanted was a family. He didn't understand how hard it was, and I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. My fear of leaving our kids as orphans.

It was a stereotypical hero storyline, but I didn't want my kids going through that. No superpower could ever replace a family. Not to mention I didn't want to die.

I liked being alive.

"Miss Stark," Ethan's voice rang out, interrupting my song, "Master Loki is outside."

"Send him in."

"Very well."

The doors to my room slid open, and the tall god strode in. I almost let out a gasp when I saw him wearing Peter's Pajamas, because someone of his height could not fit in my ex-boyfriend's hello kitty pants. They went up to the middle of his calves.

"I require sustenance," he complained, "where is the kitchen?"

"Just make yourself something there," I said, pointing to the food synthesizer, "The food cards are in the drawer.

After seeing Star Trek for the first time, I asked my dad to make me one of the fancy food processors. You took a card labeled with the food you wanted, stick it in the oven like contraption, and close the door. Once the timer rang, your food was sitting inside.

"What is it?" Loki asked.

I had to explain to him how to use it, and he ended up choosing a caesar salad. For breakfast. Soon enough we were both lying on my bed, watching Titanic to pass time.

"This is ridiculous," the man would say every spare moment, "who's stupid enough to do that?"

"It's a classic!" I'd retort, "respect the film."

"Do you want to know a secret?" he said, throwing a piece of lettuce at me.

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Leonardo dicaprio is actually asgardian."

"Very funny," I said, rolling my eyes,

"It's true. How do you think he got those impeccable looks?"

"Genetics?"

"Godlike genetics. His mother was on the royal court. That's why he never seems to age."

"Wait.... That makes sense!"

"Told you."

I laughed, and kept watching the movie. I couldn't focus. Every time Loki would scream something at the projector, I'd think about what Peter was doing in Wakanda. Did he move on? No, not in one day. I couldn't even do that, and I was the one of pushed him out.

unless?