After that, Mark told me that it was probably for the best if we stopped casually chatting like we had been. He wasn't wrong. I did have sinister intentions. I wanted something to happen between us again. Or maybe I just wanted us to both be single so we at least had the option. Or maybe I just wanted him to be single so he wasn't thinking about and sleeping with someone who wasn't me.
Mark wasn't mean about it. He was trying to do the right thing for his new relationship and he wanted to respect his new girlfriend. He told me if I ever needed anything, I could reach out to him and he assured me that he would never just completely cut me out of his life.
I tried to respect his wishes. At first. I mean, I didn't want to get involved with a guy who was already involved with someone else. That was just asking for it. But the more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that this was all wrong. It wasn't just a weird coincidence that he popped back up in my life after we broke up. It had to have happened for a reason. The world had put him in front of me again, and I couldn't just let the opportunity pass by.
I was learning a lot about charities and fundraisers through my position at the hospital. I had no idea that some medical institutions invest heavily and rely heavily on art for funding gaps. Auctions for paintings, photographs, sculptures, etc. raised unbelievable amounts of funds for our hospital. Who knew? Not me. I had never even really thought twice about art.
But I knew someone who did. He told me to let him know if I ever needed anything. This was my chance to contact him again. It was for a legitimate reason, not personal. He knew a lot of the key players in the local art/fundraising circle, and his fame didn't hurt either in terms of connections. It would be amazing if I could secure a couple of consistent contacts for the hospital curators to make future deals and events with.
I was going to text him, but that would risk possibly waiting hours before he replied. So I called instead and he answered pretty quickly. I was nervous, so I sort of started rambling on about my job and the hospital funding gaps and I finally got to the point where I told him what I was wanting.
"I might actually be able to help," he replied.
"No way. Seriously??" I sounded way too excited. I didn't think it would be that easy to get him to help me out.
"Mhmm."
"Oh, wow. That's a huge relief. It would be so great for the hospital and for my job in particular...do you want to meet up soon to give me the information? You can come here, or I can come to you. Whatever's easiest."
He hesitated. "I don't...I'm still with Karen. I don't think that's a good idea."
"You don't think...what's a good idea? Helping to set up a fundraiser?"
"Not for an ex girlfriend."
"Ah," my heart sank a little. "Well you can...send the information over to my office at the hospital. That would be okay, right?"
I heard a small scoff from the other end of the line. "Yeah, that's fine. Just text me the info and once I get everything together I'll send it over."
"Thank you so much."
"Sure. Talk to you later."
The conversation was over way too quickly. And it was impossible not to get butterflies hearing his voice. It was so sexy and smooth. And familiar. I had obviously wanted to talk about more than just business. Clearly he didn't. Or at least he wasn't going to give in to me. I had tried to kiss him the last time we saw each other, after all.
I knew it would have been like playing with fire to push another meet up with him. He was right, it wasn't a good idea. What was I doing? I was being completely selfish and sinister. Even involving him in this could be inviting trouble into my life, but I just couldn't stop thinking about how we had randomly run into each other at the other fundraiser and how that had to be a sign.
So I texted him my office info to encourage him to get back with me about his contacts. I didn't hear anything back from him for a few days and was starting to think that he was completely blowing me off. But then, he showed up at the hospital. I had no idea how he knew where my office was or that I was even here.
"Hey, " he started as he approached me from the opposite side of the reception desk.
"Hi," I said, clearly caught off guard.
"Sorry, I know it's been a couple days since you sent me your info. I went to send all of this to you," he sat a folder on the counter, "but then I thought...I don't see the harm in bringing it to your office." He smiled. He knew the game we were both playing.
I glanced at the receptionist sitting at the far end of the counter. She wasn't paying any attention. I looked back at Mark, "Come on," I motioned for him to follow me back into my office. I closed the door behind us and we both sat down on opposite sides of my desk. Mark looked around.
"This is nice. Very...private."
Our eyes locked and I shook my head slightly, giving him a look. "You drove all the way here from LA," I stated.
"No, I was in the area."
"You don't have any reason to be in this area," I countered.
"What? No, of course I do."
"Okay," I tried to suppress a smile.
Then my cell phone rang on the desk top. Ben's name and picture came on the screen. I sighed and reluctantly answered it like it was a chore. I was hanging up fifteen seconds later, annoyed. I caught Mark looking at me skeptically.
"What?" I asked.
"You're bored with him."
"No no, I just...didn't want to be rude. I have someone in my office," I gestured to him.
He looked at me, studying my face. "You're holding out on him."
He was right. But I rolled my eyes, trying to act like his accusation was ridiculous. "In what way?"
He sat more upright in his chair and then leaned forward. "In every way. Emotionally. Physically."
I scoffed a little too dramatically. "We have sex all the time." I could feel my face getting red. He just looked at me. He knew I was lying. I gave in, "Okay, no we don't. I haven't slept with him."
"How long have you been with him again?"
I didn't answer. I leaned back in my chair and put my hands up to my forehead and sighed heavily. "It just...isn't going anywhere." I had known that for a while but never admitted it.
"So you're not even into him. You're letting him sit around, wasting his time, thinking something will eventually happen?"
"No!" I said, defensively. "Something might happen. He's so...," I couldn't think of any words to describe him, "...nice and dependable. He's a great guy. He's drama free and respectful and pretty much everything I want."
"But you don't want all of that with him." He looked at me and waited for me to confirm that he was right. Then he added, "You can't force the chemistry part. If it's not there, it's not there."
I shook my head, "What are we even talking about this for? I need to get started getting in touch with these people," I reached for the folder.
I expected him to get up and leave, but he lingered in his chair. He lifted his shoulders in a shrug and said, "You could at least give me a tour of the place. Show me the art pieces."
