Alone. (Michael Sutthakorn)

Chapter Thirty-Three

The sun light poured through Dan's open living room curtains. Last night I crashed at Dan's, Sharon (his mum) told me that I should stay here instead of getting the bus home. Sharon has always been protective over Dan's friends, I think that must be why she is so upset about what Michael has done.
She done so much for him, took him in when he couldn't stay at home with his mum because she has been so nasty towards him. Then, what does he do? He goes and throws it back in her face.
"Morning." Dan's sister said coming into the living room with her cat pyjamas on, I laughed looking at her knees where the cats faces were on. "Like my pyjamas?" She asked doing a little spin, to show me all off her outfit.
"You look gorgeous, like always." I winked, I got up and walked with her towards the kitchen.
"You're making me blush, stop it." She said pushing me gently. She got some bread and pushed it into the toaster, I looked at her and she looked upset.
"Hey, are you okay?" I said placing my hand on her back for comfort. She shook her hand fiddling with something on the side.
"I'm gonna miss him you know." She said clearly referring to Michael. "I know what you're thinking, you think I'm selfish and I guess I am being a little selfish but that's how it is, you usually think about yourself and that's all I'm doing. Mike, he was like a brother too me. Now, that's all going to be lost because of some stupid argument between him and Dan."
"Look, I'm sure that things will be sorted soon. Mike and Dan are way too close and have been friends way too long to just let everything slip... I'm sure you'll see him soon, I am sure off it almost." I said, she looked at me and smiled. She through her arms around my neck, I stood there hugging her.
"You know, you're great." She said and strayed buttering her toast smiling. I heard a groan from behind me, I look back and see a messy haired Dan.
"Good morning shit head." I said walking over happily to Dan and hugging him. I could tell he was a little surprised by my morning greeting but I was feeling good today, I need to try and forget about Michael.
"Good morning, penis." He said laughing, I pulled way from him. I turned to face Dan's sister who was wiggling her eyebrows, like we were a 'thing'.
"Oh hell no." I laughed pushing Dan away from me. Dan's face looked a bit hurt. I smiled softly. He turned his back too me and began making himself some breakfast.
Have I done anything wrong? I don't think I have I was only joking. I mean he isn't ugly, and it's not that he likes me or anything I mean he just got out of a relationship with Ellie, Ellie was like his everything... At least I think she was.
Dan's sister walked out of the room leaving me with Dan, which in this case now was pretty awkward. I slowly make my way over to him, I tapped him on the shoulder and his whole body tensed.
"Have I done something to annoy or upset you?" I asked when he turned too face me, he shook his head but that pained look on his face was still there. I wanted to ask him more directly but I really didn't know how.
"Look, I don't know how too tell you what I am feeling because for me it is pretty hard and I know what I am feeling won't be what you are." He snapped. I stepped out of the room, Sharon gave me a small smile. I think she might off heard what happened.
"You can get ready in Dan's room if you like?" Sharon smiled walking through into the kitchen, I sighed and jogged quickly up the stairs.
When I reached his room which the walls were covered in dark blue paint, i made a creak as I sat down on the bed which also had blue bed covers.
I laid down thinking about what just happened, I didn't feel like I have done anything wrong.
I suddenly heard Sharon and Dan's voice from the garden, I slowly walk to the window to hear what they were both saying. It sounds rude to be listening to a convocation that has nothing to do with me.
"Mum, I didn't mean to snap at her." He said sipping his tea looking down at the ground.
"I know Dan, I know." Sharon pulled him into a side hug. Why is it so bad that he snapped at me? I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings by that is just something that happens.
"I just like her and she has just got out of a relationship with Michael. She's so broken and she doesn't even know it, I just want to be there for her..." Dan said with his head in his hands, that's when I walk away from the window.
Why does he like me? I am his best friends ex, I guess that is a bit of a stupid reason not to like me but I could never like my friends ex boyfriend. Thinking about Dan and I together makes me get weird butterflies in my stomach. I think he is a gorgeous looking guy but I can't see myself with him.
The floor started vibrating as Dan's heavy footsteps started stomping through the hallway to his room. The door opened and a blond haired boy peered round the door.
"Hello." I smiled fakely. I'm not annoyed I just didn't want to smile.. Or be happy. I'm confused, I just can't see why he likes me.
"I need to talk to you." Dan said kind of nervously sitting down on the bed.
Was he going to tell me what he just told him mum?
I nodded wanting him too tell me what was on his mind as quickly as possible.
"Well, it's my mum and dad's anniversary tomorrow and they booked a hotel. I was wondering if you wanted to stay with me for the next couple of days?"
Not what I was expecting?
"Um, yeah sure..." I said scratching my head confused by what he just told me.
"What's up?" He said swinging his arm around my shoulders like I was one of his guy friends.
"Um, nothing could I go and have a shower?" I asked he nodded confused himself. I pick up a towel which was placed on Dan's bedside cabinet and walked slowly to the dark blue bathroom at the end of the hallway.
After I had my relaxing shower I hurried to Dan's room, luckily he wasn't there. I started getting changed into my day time clothes which were just ripped black jeans and a tartan top. I decided to pull one of Dan's grey jumpers out of his wardrobe and wear that seeming as I was cold.
I tip toe down the stairs intruding in on a family convocation, which was pretty damn awkward as they all just stared at me.
"Sorry, I'll go-" I got cut of by Richard's voice.
"No, actually we wanted to speak to you too darling." He smiled patting a spot on the couch for me to come and sit on. No one looked angry, they were all smiling like something amazing just happened.
"Now." Sharon smiled placing her hands on her knees. The whole family was practically here other than Dan's sister.
"We obviously know about how horrible you father can be and how he doesn't treat you the best." She started. "We also know that you need a place to stay, well, that you were looking for somewhere to stay. So we were wondering if you would like to stay with us for the time being?" Richard asked.
I was shocked? I have never had someone ask me to stay with them, let alone live with them.
"Are - are you sure?" I asked overwhelmed.
"Of course we are, Dan sees you like a sister." Sharon said.
PAUSE!
If he see's me as a sister he obviously wasn't talking about me in the garden, I shouldn't be hurt that it's not me but. I am.
I should just get over it, I'm still not over Michael I should start trying to get over him instead off moving on so quickly.
"Oh, that's lovely. I would love too." I replied with a smile on my face trying not to sound as hurt as I was.
I thought about what Sharon and Richard just asked me, I said yes. This meant that I had to lie to my Dad and tell him I found an apartment and that I can move in straight away.
"Give me a second." I said getting of the couch to Dan.
"Okay is there something wrong?" He asked smiling at me.
"Not that you would care." I mumbled walking off up the stairs not waiting for his reaction. I sit on Dan's bed and prepare for the worst. I click the dial button on my Dads name:
"Hello?" I gruff voice called into my phone. I take a deep breath and got prepared to hear the worst.
"Hi Dad, I got some news?" I said with a cheerful voice trying to sound as happy as possible.
"What? Get on with it!" He shouted into the phone, i took a breath trying to be as calm as I could.
"I found a place too live-" I got cut off by the gruff voice of my Dad.
"Finally, you moving in today?" He laughed, I felt a bit forced and embarrassed.
"Yeah, coming too get my things soon." I said trying to laugh along with him. I couldn't I'm going to miss him even though he has been an absolute dick to me.
"Thank god, I only took you in because you had no where to go." He laughed and hung up without warning.
I can see I'm loved.
To be honest I knew for a fact my Dad didn't want me in his home, I don't think he even wanted Charlie there. In all honesty Charlie is hardly ever there anymore which is a plus for me when I am there anyway. He still hits me, but not as bad as he did before. My Dad tends to tell him to stop now which may sound weird that he is only just starting now but that is how it is. You can't change that even if you tried. My Dad is old fashioned, he does things how he was brought up, put it this way he didn't have a very good up brining. I've always wondered why he has been such a dick to us if he got treated so badly, wouldn't you of thought that he would of tried and made our lives the best he could.
I walked down the stairs and back into the living room, everyone had gone other than Dan who was just laying on the couch with his feet up watching American Horror Story. I've never been a fan of that programme.
"Dan, I'm going to go and pick up my stuff. I was wondering if you could drive me. I only have a few things but I can't carry them." I asked politey. He nodded and jumped of the couch, there is another posotive thing about Dan. He is so kind and generous he would do whatever you ask. Some people may see that as a bad thing but I think it's nice.
"Sure, lets go." He said tying up his shoe laces, we both jumped into the car and made our way to my house. The way wasn't that long but it wasn't short. Something was playing on my mind and I really wanted to tell Dan but I will feel like a dick if I say it aloud. I decided to tell him later as we had just arrived at my house.
I knocked on the door waiting for my Dad to answer the door. "Yes?" He said swinging the door open, he realised it was me and still didn't try and rectifiy his words. I never took that too heart, what was the point you can't take back what you said.
"Come to get my stuff." I said pulling Dan past my Dad. My Dad laughed and walked back into the living room which was disgusting there was mess everywhere, it was covered in beer bottles and crisp packets. How healthy.
"Sorry, about all this mess." I said too Dan when we got into my room. I dug the bag out from under my bed, it was actually Michael's but I didn't bring that up or tell Dan that.
"It's fine, my room has been worse." We both laugh at the comment he made. I opened up my wardrobe. There everything was, everything of Michael's I was tempted to through it away but I want to keep it for old times sake.
"Hey." Dan said confused picking up one of the beanies. "These are Mike's, aren't they?" He said inspecting the beanie that was in his hand. I nodded not wanting to reply, I thought it would be way to awkward if I told him why I still have it. He looked angry.
"I, I - uh, am going to give it back to him." I smiled covering up.
"Oh, we pass his house wanna give him back his stuff then, that way I will be ther so if anything bad happens I'll protect you." He said touching my back. As soon as he touched my back it sent shivers down my spine, where he touched then became heated. I had these weird butterflies in my stomach.
"Sure." Was all I managed to get out, he took his hand off my back. Where his hand was then became cold and I instantly craved his touch once more.
"Well, I'm ready." I said picking up a large-ish back, then picking up the small plastic bag full of Michael's stuff which I was going to give back. I secretly still have one of his beanie's is my bag. I couldn't get rid of them that easily.
"Let's go beautiful- I mean Jamie." He corrected himself walking off quicker then I ever thought he would, I laughed realising the mistake he had just made and how embarrased he was.
I didn't bother saying goodbye to my Dad he showed me that he wanted me gone as quick as possible, so that's what I did. I left as quickly as I could, we're now in the car on the way to Michael's this is only a short drive. We came to a sudden stop, Michael's house.
"Want me to get out with you?" Dan asked nicely, I shook my head. I took in a deep breath and began walking up the pathway to his house. I knocked, I wanted this done as quickly as possible.
"Hello." That irish voice, was the voice that had my hooked for weeks.
"Hi." I gulped.
"Why're you here?" He said stepping outside and shutting the door behind him.
"To give you these back." I said handing him the bag. "There your clothes that you gave me that day I got took back, remeber?" I said trying to keep the convocation short and snappy.
"I remeber." He said looking down with a sad face. "You didn't need to give these back, you could of kept them Jamie." He replied.
"I wanted to give them back, as you can give them to your girlfriend." That sentace that I just spoke, broke my heart I honestly want to break down in tears.
"Yeah, I could." He smiled. "I miss you, Jay." He blurted out, I nodded.
"Mike, we're better of without each other." I nodded, I went to walk away but he grabbed my arm and twirled me around to face him.
"I'll always love and miss you Jamie." He whispered into my ear, I pulled out of his grip but he kissed my cheek. I stormed back to the car with the tears in my eyes. How could I miss him!
"I saw," Dan said putting his hand on my cheek.
"I didn't want him to kiss me." I cried into my hands, it's hard letting go off someone that you'll truley miss.
"I know." Dan said, I felt him leaning towards me. I kissed my cheek gently where Michael did, it felt right. I felt right for once.
We drove back to his, I told him that I was going to straight to his room. I sat on his comfortable bed and cried. I couldn't stop crying, I hoped and prayed that no one came in. I heard a knock on the door and I wiped my eyes and plastered a fake smile on my face.
"Hey beautiful, your bed is made up?" Dan's sister said coming through. I nodded, smiling and getting up of the bed.
"Thank-you." I smiled walking past her. I walked into the room which was made up beautifully.
*
*
*
Everyone was asleep but me. I'm lying here wondering what to do with myself.
I can't stop thinking about Dan.
I decided to make a decision and started walking to Dan's bedroom.
"Dan?" I whispered walking through, he looked up and smiled in the pure dark.
"I want to do this." I said. I pulled his head up and attached our lips. I expected him too pull away but he didn't. He pulled my body closer and we carried on kissing, it felt amazing to have someone in my arms being able to kiss the hell out of them.
"I've been wanting to do that to." He replied.