Rekindled From The Ashes

Loss

Wooyoung hums to himself as he wiped the counter off. He had just finished dinner and is now waiting on San to walk through the door so they can enjoy dinner and go to bed peacefully. Something doesn't feel right though, San was taking an awful long time at the station. He promised Wooyoung he wouldn't go out on missions....

Wooyoung sighs, he couldn't be stressing, not when he was this far along. He didn't want to stress their son out. He rubs his belly, smiling down at it, "Well little man, let's hope daddy hurries home so we can all eat dinner and watch Venom."

He just finished turning the stove off when his phone rings loudly, cutting through the silence and making Wooyoung jump a little. He reaches for the phone and sees a random number calling him. He frowns, maybe San had to borrow one of their phones. His may have died. That maybe it. He hits the green button and puts the phone up to his ear, "Hello?"

"Is this Choi Wooyoung?" A female voice asks, her tone sounded very sad and Wooyoung's heart races.

"T-This is him," Wooyoung places a hand on his belly, his son moving and kicking wildly from his heart racing.

"I'm sorry Mr. Choi, there's been an accident. Your husband San has you as his emergency contact in his file at the station," her tone was filled with sorrow as she spoke the words that broke his heart, "We need you to come down to the scene of the accident."

Wooyoung's mouth falls open and he nods, his heart breaking more as he felt a sob breaking through his chest, "Oh my god is he okay?"

"I'm sorry Wooyoung, he... he didn't make it. We need you to come down here..." her voice trails off as Wooyoung processes those words. He didn't hear anything else as he fell to his knees, dropping the phone and screaming.

He screams at the top of his lungs as he cries for his husband, rocking on his knees. His screams turn to ugly, loud sobs and wails. His Sannie, his lover, his husband, the father to their son. He was whisked away just like nothing.

His mind seemed to have shut off as he calls his friend Yunho and his husband Mingi, both of them living just across the street and they hurry over. The drive was quiet as Mingi raced to the scene, parking just outside of the crowd of policeman and firefighters. He is helped out of the vehicle and tries to step closer, but an officer stops him, "I'm sorry sir, you can't go any further."

"M-My husband," Wooyoung sobs, points to the fire truck and ambulance. He glances at the officer's tag, Choi Jongho. Officer Choi's face falls and he looks back behind him, "Joong, he's the firefighter's husband."

"Let him through," the other officer calls, Officer Kim Hongjoong, his friend's husband. He removes his hat out of respect as officer Choi lets him pass, his face downcast as he passes by, "I'm sorry."

Wooyoung still didn't believe it. San wasn't dead. This was a sick joke they were all playing on him to raise his stress levels. San must be trying to prank him.

But the closer he got to the ambulance, the closer he seen that this wasn't a prank. Not when he can see San's body being zipped in a black bag and loaded on a stretcher into the ambulance. He screams, falling to his knees again as he wails and sobs. Arms wrap themselves around him and he tries to shake them off but he just couldn't. He didn't have the energy.

He didn't have the will to do anything anymore.

***

Why do funerals have to be sad? Why did they have to represent death? Or be the only way you see every one? Friends, family, neighbors, co-workers.

Wooyoung stood numbly by San's casket as people stood in a long line to give him their deepest sympathies for the viewing. San was loved by many people, he had more friends than Wooyoung. He never had an enemy and he never spoke badly about anyone. These people didn't deserve San, no one did.

He takes in a deep breath as he sees his friends approaching, rubbing his belly softly at the feeling of their baby boy kicking in his belly. He almost lost his son due to the stress this past week, he's very lucky. He wouldn't want to live anymore if he lost his child right after loosing his lover. He really didn't want to plan two funerals.

His friend Yunho steps up first, tears pouring down his cheeks as he wraps the pregnant male in his arms, "Youngie, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you for coming," Wooyoung said monotonously, keeping the tears at bay as he felt his wall slowly crumble what was built for the day.

"You want me to stay up here with you?" Yunho asks, cupping Wooyoung's face his eyes were warm and his hands were cold on his face.

"I'm fine," Wooyoung whispers, "Please, I don't want to keep Mingi waiting."

Yunho flinches, moving away and letting their other friends pull Wooyoung in a hug. Mingi kisses Wooyoung's forehead, grabbing Yunho's hand and giving it a squeeze before they stood by the pregnant man. His next friends Yeosang and his husband, who is actually a police officer, Hongjoong come over and immediately pull the shorter man in a hug.

"If you ever need anything, let me know," Yeosang whispers, kissing Wooyoung's cheek and they leave to keep the line moving.

Wooyoung doesn't say anything, he stares blankly ahead as his other friend Seonghwa and his wife come over to give their sincerest regards. Seonghwa's wife was also pregnant, ready to pop any moment with their daughter. Seonghwa hugged Wooyoung the longest, and they shed a few tears together before his wife hugs him and they take their leave.

The next person to step up surprised Wooyoung as he grabs Wooyoung's delicate hand. Officer Choi Jongho, the officer who was on the scene of the fire and who held him back before Hongjoong told him to release him. Wooyoung's face remained blank as Jongho's strong hands grab Wooyoung's gently and he looks at Wooyoung with sad, chocolate brown eyes, "I'm so sorry for your loss Wooyoung. Firefighters and police officers usually don't get along, but San made it seem like it was easy. We all loved him on the force. He was a brave, brave man."

Wooyoung's lip trembles and his eyes water, "Thank you. Thank you for coming."

Jongho nods, sliding a card out of his back pocket and handing it to Wooyoung, "If you ever need to talk to someone, here's my number. Call me any time."

"Thank you."

The next day San was buried next to his grandparents, who were more like his parents than his actual biological parents. His mother and father sob loudly, as if they had a reason to be sad. They didn't want anything to do with San when he married Wooyoung, especially when they found out the younger was expecting.

Wooyoung stares at the casket as the priest read a passage from the Bible before everyone gave their last respects to Wooyoung and San's parents. When it was the three left, the grave digger gave them the flowers on the casket, Wooyoung getting the center piece and the most flowers.

San's mother stands and San's father wraps his arms around her, but she stops in front of Wooyoung, "I hope you're happy. You should've made San quit being a firefighter a long time ago. If you had actually made him quit, he'd be here."

Wooyoung didn't even flinch at her words as they walk away, he stayed staring as the casket is lowered in the ground slowly. He takes a lone sunflower and throws it in with the casket. San loved sun flowers, they reminded him of Wooyoung. At least that's what he always told Wooyoung. Wooyoung threw in another flower for their son, a daisy. And finally he threw one more flower in before he turns and walks away from the grave.

A red rose, for the blood San had shed.

***

This was so hard for me to write... It's sad I know, but it's going to be good guys I promise.