𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈-𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓀𝑜𝓀𝓊۵

04

Dazais pov

Guilty was all that I felt. I suppose my feeling were more deep than that simple word. It felt like something I would never get rid of and would eventually swallow me whole. All left was to suck up my pride and apologize. But I didn't want to admit that what i had done was wrong. I suppose thats contradictory. Everything I did felt like that though. I wasn't exactly indecisive in-fact im usually very sure of myself. But I knew I had to apologize to the boy. I made him cry.

After he made such a huge scene Akutagawa had called him over. He was currently eating with MY friends. I couldn't even force myself to turn around and look at what was happening. The present pain in my stomach was beginning to feel overwhelming. I snapped out of my daze and lifted my shirt scared to find what was under it. Sucking in a breathe at the skin tinged yellow and blue I quickly released my shirt. Hearing a commotion behind me I looked to see that everyone was getting up to leave. 

Chuuyas pov

Glancing back at Dazai I saw he was no longer staring with his back to the group but rather was staring directly at me. He had huge empty eyes and an emotionless frown on his face. He looked intimidating in a way. A way that made me feel incredibly uneasy. I stared back for awhile until I felt a small hand on my back. 

"Hey are you okay now? If you want I have some extra lunch you can take." I looked down to see Atsushi talking to me.

I felt the corners of my lips turn up. Suddenly feeling embarrassed of the huge scene I had just made I whispered a quick no thanks to his offer of food. I had previously found out he lived about 3 blocks away so he offered to walk with me. 

"Actually I can take him" a voice called from behind. I grimaced seeing Dazai waving his arms.

"Uhh I don't think so Dazai..." Atsushi said looking up at me. 

I pierced my lips and nodded my head at Atsushi. Dazai had obviously had something he needed to say and I wanted to hear what it was. 

Hearing Atsushi drag out a long okay Dazai grabbed my wrist and began walking down the street. His grip was strong but it didn't seem to hurt of feel like he was trying to overpower me. It felt like he was keeping me safe in a way. Which confused me cause he was currently wordlessly dragging me down a paved hill. Once we finally reached the end of the street he sat down on the side walk sighing. 

"I dont know what to say" 

"Dude are you kidding me? You just forced me to walk with you so that you could sit on the ground like a fucking child? You obviously have something to say so just spit it out moron"

The answer I got from him surprised me. I thought he would splutter a sad excuse of an apology but what he said wasn't even close. 

"I'm not good at making friends."

"uhh what"

"Like people like me and I can comfortably talk to new people but when I see someone I really wanna be friends with I just." he paused "don't know how to go about it."

I stayed silent. Not exactly knowing what to say. 

"So? What do you think?" he said.

No apology? Just that?

"That was a huge waste of my fucking time. At pretend that you're sorry asshole." Was all I could say before going to storm off.

He scrambled up and grabbed my hand again holding onto it tightly. I whipped towards him. 

"Chuuya please. I.. I just have a hard time- with.." he stuttered out. Looking up into his eyes they danced with worry. Like he had a thousand things to say but just couldn't get them out. I scanned them eventually looking to where his hand was placed on my wrist. 

"Let go. It hurts."

He looked stunned letting my hand go. I looked at him one more time before walking away shivering from the breeze and the encounter I had just exchanged with the chocolate eyed boy.

AN: I FUCIKING HATE THIS CHAPTER. also sorry its so short. the other chapters will be longer