𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈-𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓀𝑜𝓀𝓊۵

11

WHAT R YOU GUYS SO NICE TO ME FOR bfhjgduwagr. like seriously seeing people comment makes me feel so happy and it makes me want to write and write just 4 u. ily guys sm

Dazais pov

I couldn't quite put one certain emotion on what I was feeling. I knew it wasn't a good emotion and I knew I was shaking. I was in the woods behind the school, skipping rocks on a small pond. In the back of my mind I knew that what I had done was wrong. And I knew that I had to do something about it but I just didn't know how. I wish I had a better grip on my emotions and I wish I could control myself. I weirdly wanted to have someone to sit with right now. Weirdly I thought of Chuuya

Hearing my phone buzzing in my pocket I picked it up smirking at the caller ID. It was Kunikida.

I put the phone to my ear sighing. "Hey."

"Jesus Dazai you fucking push Akutagawa then disappear for hours and greet me with a 'hey'?" he yelled over the phone. I could practically see it in my head. Him hunched over spitting as he yelled.

"Yea sorry bout that one Kunikida-Kunn." I said back calmly. "Hey I'm down by the pond in the back."

He huffed. "So who do you want me to send down there?"

I contemplated it surprising myself when I told him Akutagawa.

~~~~~~~~

Hearing leaves crunching was my cue to scramble up. I stood on my tip-toes peering to the side of a tree to see a tall boy walking over to me. He was wearing the regular uniform with a black sweater over the top of his shirt. His hair was looking overgrown and in desperate need of a haircut.

"Akutagawa. I'm over here." I called.

His head whipped to where I was standing. He looked hesitant to come over to me. Like maybe I would hit him again. It was weird to see him looking almost scared. It made me feel kinda bad in a way. Like maybe I'd hurt him to many times.

"Akutagawa... Can we sit. Please."

He swallowed, considering my offer. Then quickly nodded his head stalking over to the edge of the pond and plopping down.

I sat next to him not exactly knowing what I was doing. I just knew I had to do something.

"About what you said. I think maybe I was a little too sensitive about it. I shouldn't have freaked out over it and hit you. You didn't deserve that."

Akutagawa shook his head. "No Dazai I understand, and you were completely right to have hit me. I was being rude." he said looking straight forward at the pond.

"Shut up. Jesus don't be ridiculous" He whipped his head over to me, shocked.

"Y'know i'm getting kinda irritated by everyone letting things slide with me. Cause I'm still gonna end up feeling guilty. Only difference is now i dont have any consequences. You said what you said. And what you said was true. I do need help. I just.." I hesitated trying to figure out what to say. "I just don't know how to get that help. I just kinda wanna wait for things to resolve themselves. Because I truly feel so lost. And I just don't know what to do."

He looked over at me silently. My lips pierced I opened the one more time. "Akutagawa i'm really mean to you. But I'm gonna try to be better. You really do mean a lot to me. And I appreciate you. So thank you. For everything."

He looked surprised. His shoulders were tense and his body went stiff. He turned looking forward smiling slightly with glassy eyes.

~~~~~~

We walked back out towards the school together. He told me that everyone was eating outside and he could ask them not to mention it there. I nodded at his offer, not wanting to explain myself anymore.

"Dazai!!" I heard my name being yelled as we walked toward the old picnic table. I smiled seeing Atsushi waving at us. Akutagawa nodded at me then walked to where Atsushi was. I breathed feeling relieved that everything was sorted out now. I started walking to the table stopping when I saw a familiar curly head of auburn hair. He had his back to me, obviously ignoring my presence. I clenched my teeth realizing that I probably pissed him off big time. I couldn't quite describe what we were. We were barely friends but he had taken care of me in so many ways. For some reason thinking of hurting him made me feel the worst. Which was strange.

"Hey Chuuya!" I called, hoping he would look at me. I walked closer to where he was sitting, everyone's eyes on me. "Chuuya please look at me."

His head stayed forward. I grabbed his hand dragging him away from the table.

"Fuck you moron let me go!" he yelled. I snapped back into my senses realizing I was probably hurting him. I dropped his hand quickly clenching a fist. We were out of sight from the picnic table now, by a spot where two brick walls connected.

"Chuuya I don't know why but I freaked out this morning and i'm really sorry about hitting him and i'm sorry I pushed you and that I disappeared." I frantically tried explaining to him.

He narrowed his eyes. "Dude how many times are you gonna have to apologize for being a complete douchebag?"

"I was hoping this would be the last." I said hopefully.

He chuckled closing his eyes. "I wasn't even that mad y'know. I mean it wasn't even my business anyways."

I stood confused. "So why were you ignoring me?"

"Cause I thought it'd be funny to make you mad."

I lowered my head to look at him properly, narrowing my eyes.

He looked startled at my change if body language and backed up a little making a little hmph noise as he collided with the wall behind him. I smirked.

"Hm... cute." I said finally after looking him over. His hair looked slightly disheveled and messy. He was wearing black pants with several layers on top. His cheeks were tinted pink and so were his ears. He really did look cute frozen there with his back to the wall.

He shook his head straighten out. "What the hell Dazai! Don't fucking say stuff like that! Jeez lets go" he said angrily while his cheeks turned redder.

I laughed at his embarrassment following behind him.

Chuuyas pov

I sat down next to Kunikida with my ears still burning red. Hurring I grabbed my sandwich taking an angry bite. I glanced over to see Dazai playing bloody knuckles with Tachihara.

"Jeez you're red. What did he do?" Kunikida said looked down at me.

"Nothing he just embarrassed me, called me cute y'know. He seems to love making people uncomfortable. You'd understand." I huffed out.

Kunikida narrowed his eyes looking confused. "No I don't think I do understand. It is strange though."

"What's strange?"

"He doesn't usually do that type of thing to people. Hes more into being rude than doing something like that. He seems particularly obsessed with you. I'm not complaining though. He's been different since talking to you. It's nice in a way." He replied smiling before going back to his salad.

What the hell? Why am I the only one he embarrasses like that?