Rewind Reverie

Second Chance Pilot Program

The man placed his tortoise shell glasses on top of the desk.   He gives me that piercing look, the kind of look someone gives you before they tell you something that's meant to make you rethink your entire life up until that point.  "After reviewing the course of your life, I am convinced that much of it was out of your control. We here believe in the human's right to choose, that every human should have the ability to choose the course of their life. So we would like to help you remedy that."

The way he was going on, he could been speaking Greek or Latin.  I had no idea what he was going on about.  "I...don't think I follow."

"Let me put it to you this way.  It see that much of your life was controlled by other forces. You parents, your husband, other forces - all seemed to have more of an influence on your choices than you did. Sure, you went along with it, but most of  the time your free will was compromised.  That's just how the cookie crumbles sometimes, but in your case, it was the rule rather than the exception."

"So you're basically saying that for the entirety of my life, I was one big doormat."

"The words are a bit crude, but yes."  I'm already dead, but I still want to crawl into a hole or ditch somewhere.  "From the time you were born, you were groomed to accept the influence of others without question.  There are a few periods in your life where you rebel against this trend, but eventually you'd settle back into it.  As a result, you lived a majority of your life by someone else's rules."

The words were hard to take.  But he wasn't wrong.  As I pondered my life, all I could think of was how everything I did was either because of my parents or because my husband.  I went to private elementary and high schools because my mother insisted on me hobnobbing with elite students.  I couldn't go to college after high school because my Dad lost his job and my mom didn't want me to go to regular state college.  I gave my husband a chance because he was super rich and my mom said that it was opportunity I shouldn't pass up.  After I married, I never had children because my husband insisted that children would ruin our marriage more than his constant cheating did.

I could see my tombstone now.  Here lies Josephine Elise Harwood, nee Scott, a perpetual doormat who lived a frustrated life.  At least my death was somewhat exciting.

"That said, we think you would benefit from entering the Second Chance program, Finn," the Man continued on.  "Our second-chance program gives you the opportunity to return to a critical junction in your life with the express purpose to exerting your autonomy and doing things a little differently."

I thought I understood what he meant, but.. "And what's the point of that? I'm already dead.  Is it usually one and done?"

"Yes, but..."  The man glanced at the tablet, pushing his glasses onto the bridge of his nose.  "It seems that when you died, you made a final request.  A request that we here take very seriously."

"Request..?" My body went cold. "What do you mean..."

"It says here on in my records that your final words were, and I quote, 'I want to be wherever you are', end quote." 

I swallowed hard. "Oh...right.  You heard that?" 

"When it comes to death and final wishes, we hear everything.  Also, it's not uncommon for people to have a last wish.  Furthermore, most are fulfilled the minute someone moves on to the afterlife.  That said, I think the second-chance program will allow you the opportunity to take things a bit further."

"Ah...okay.

"And according to your file, this person you wish to see again...is also your biggest regret."

I sighed heavily. The tears forming in my eyes surprised me. "That's one way of putting it."

"His name was..." The man referred to his tablet again. "Aristotle Mitchell.  Commonly referred to as 'Ari' by friends and family.  Died suddenly at the age 22 due to an unfortunate fall off a balcony while intoxicated.  What a pity.  Though I should state that you had nothing to do with what happened."

"If you say so." The lining inside my heart burns in disagreement. "Not sure I agree with you."

"Then enlighten me, Finn.  Why do you consider the death of Mr. Mitchell to be your biggest regret?  Why do you wish to be...wherever he is?"

I sighed heavily, shifting uncomfortably in the chair. He was really going to make me say it aloud, wasn't it? Not that the afterlife was a place for secrets. I'm sure he knew what I was going to say. He just wanted me to say it.

"If I were where he is...then I could apologize for everything I did," I begin slowly.

"Is that so?" the Man replied with a chuckle. "Forgive me for saying so, but such matters I trivial when you're dead."

"I know that. But still...I feel like it's something I need to do." Hearing the words aloud cause whatever bit of heart I had left to shatter into countless little pieces. "He might still be alive if it weren't for me."

"But everyone has their time to go. Some before you and some long after. In this case, Mr. Mitchell's time came before yours."

"I know, but it's not fair that he died so young." Memories of a messy head of hair and wild hazel eyes floated into my mind. "And if I weren't such a selfish twit, he would have done just that."

"I see. It seems that you have a very high opinion of Mr. Mitchell."

"It's more that that." I took a deep breath before continuing. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying right then and there. "Ari was...the most beautiful soul I've ever met. He was the kind of person who could light up and room and no one could say anything bad about him. He was just an all around great guy. And I treated him like crap.  I mean back then I treated all of my friends like crap.  But he got the worst of it."