Rewind Reverie

I'll Come Right Out and Say it

Damn, this boy is smooth.

I clutch my mug a little too tightly and droplets of hot red liquid spill all over my hand. Somehow, the heat the blooms inside me feels more oppressive.  I'm not trying to act like an idiot over here.  So I'm going to resist the urge to burst into a fit of giggles...among other things.

"I-I don't know about that," I stammer nervously.  "I think my box of matches went damp a long while ago. I guess that's what happens when you date a loser in a luxury suit."

"Shoot, I'm sorry Finn." His apology offers a nice reprieve from all this unexpected tension. "I didn't mean to bring it up."

"It's fine, don't worry. I mean, my ex and our relationship isn't really a secret, right? It's over and he's long moved on with pretty young thing right now." I mean every word. Still, it's a bitter pill to swallow.  " It sucks, but it's one of those things that I'm just going to have to woman up and move on."

Ari raises an eyebrow, hazel eyes filled with hopeful suspicion. "You mean that?"

"I do." I breathe in determination and exhale resolve.  "What, don't believe me?"

"No, it's not that."  His voice is flat, removed of the husky purrs that had me on edge moments before.  Ari never met Wesley in person because my ex would never be caught dead in a "common university".  But that didn't stop Ari from disliking the one person who hurt me deeply.  "It's just that it seemed like you were hoping to get back together with him."

 "Yeah...I did say that, didn't I?"  I say with a chuckle.  "What can I say?  Things change and something comes along that gives you a new...perspective on things."

He narrows his eyes and smirks.  "Like hitting your head after a slip and fall?" 

More like falling down a spiral staircase, fracturing my skull, and lying still as blood spills all over your plush white carpeting.  But he doesn't need to know that.  "Something like that."

The two of us fall into an awkward silence.  I can feel his eyes on me, really looking at me, like he's trying to really understand what I've said. I'm uncomfortable with all this staring. Before, this would have annoyed me. I would stand there, this intense scowl on my face, wondering why this boy had the nerve to stare at me. Like, did he have a problem with me or something? Was he trying to get a rise out of me? Classic Ari, always messing with me.

This time is different. As the heat intensifies, I realize that I'm not angry or agitated. I'm...embarrassed. Nervous. Wondering what he's thinking. Wondering what's going through his mind as he looks at me like that. Wishing that I had the power to read minds so that I could listen to him size me up. My heart bursts into a spirited sprint before trips over its feet, tumbling over and over again. It makes me want to put up the shields and shower him with arrows shrieking "stop messing with me, Model Boy"!

And then I get it. He's looking at me the way man does when he's taking stock of a women, top to bottom, curves and all.

I mean, I knew he had a crush on me. I've always known. 

 But...damn.  This doesn't feel like a crush.  This feels like desire, pure and simple.

"If you're going to keep staring at me like that, you could at least tell me what you're thinking." I sip of tea to temper it, trying to keep it together.

"Are you sure you want to hear it?"  It's an honest question and a playful taunt.  

Two can play at that game.  "I do.  But if you've suddenly got cold feet, you don't have to say it."