𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 || 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲

Varför till och med försöka

the next three days jack was at internal war with himself.
He wasn't sure wheater to stop taking the anxiety pills zach was supplying him with or to let Zach take them himself.

zach clearly wasn't in the right headspace but jack couldn't get enough of Zach's new sudden affection.

If he gave him back his pills zach would become very closed off again.

but he couldn't stand anxiety attacks that zach frequently had and the episodes zach had every night.

during the days zach was excited and very emotional towards jack but during nights he was depressed and prone to have an episode.

jack didn't even want to think about what happened when he left him at nights.

It was so incredibly wrong of jack to continue using Zach's anxiety pills.

"Are you alright?" zach asked looking at me.

"yeah I'm peachy."

"Good." zach smiled tackling me on his bed kissing me.

"I wish we could be like this forever." He whispered suddenly. I could tell me was about to have a mood drop.

"We can!" I smiled sitting him up. "How about we go look at the lake in the park? Maybe go to a diner?"

"I remember the night we watched the lake together when we first met. I was so scared that I was feeling things for you. Sometimes I still am."

"why are you afraid? you won't ever lose me."

"it's just that we are so young and we have experienced nothing. I want you to know everything so you know that I am the only person you want. You've never loved anyone else right?"

"I have not." i sighed.
he was right. I've never experienced different forms of love. I've only loved Zach not some other boy or girl. Only him.

"Then how do you know I am the one you want? Because I know that you're the only one I want."

"because when I met you I knew you were the one. my heart told me and my heart was right."

I knew my heart was right when it chose Zach.

"I'm sorry I don't tell you I love you. I want it to mean a lot when I do." zach said changing the subject.

"It's okay. As long as I know that you do."

"I'm just glad you're someone who I can trust."

a lump appeared in my throat. I began to feel guilty.

He couldn't trust me. Not now at least. I didn't mean to be hurting him but he would be alright I hopped.

_

"I like that he treats me like I've always wanted him to..Why even try if this is how he wants to be?"

"it's wrong. you don't need me to tell you this. I know Zach can be an ass but he needs those pills. You've told me how he's been suffering."