I have been having a lot of visions lately yesterday I had one that I was gonna cut again and I heard Jc hitting the door yelling "Jillian just open the door I'm sorry babe please!"
I woke up this morning to Jc shaking me and yelling "Jillian I don't know where the kids went both of their windows looked like they were forced open!" I jumped up and started crying and said "oh my god have you called the cops what are we gonna do what if they are dead Jc our kids oh my god!" he started laughing and said "Jillian it was a joke calm down!" I stopped crying and said "Jc omg don't do that to me. I swear Jc!" he God mad I could tell and said "you swear what? are you just gonna leave again? Ph no I know your gonna cut again right yeah that's what you'll do you will cut to make me feel bad!" as soon as I heard the last sentence escape his lips I ran straight to the bathroom and locked myself in! I searched for razor and fumbled to get the blades out of it I heard Jc pounding on the door then I stopped and listened to what he was saying he said "Jillian just open the door I'm sorry babe please!" I stopped my visions were coming true. Before I knew what I was doing I felt the blade cut deep into my wrist. I dropped it and slid it under the door then I heard Jc get quiet and Ava say "oh my god dad look on the ground!" then I heard Jc say "Ava just please go back to bed!" I heard him pick up the blade and started crying then I started to feel light headed and unlocked the door before I could say anything I blacked out. When I woke up I was in a small room it was white and I felt something in the bed beside of me I looked down and it was Jake he was shivering it was cold in the room so I covered him in some of my covers then he woke up he had been crying his eyes were puffy! he smiled and said "mommy they said you might not wake up!" I smiled and said "I'm sorry baby where are daddy and Ava?" he thought about it then said "oh yeah they said only one could stay and they let me!" I smiled and said "so how long was I out?" he frowned and said "3 months they said they would take you off life support tomorrow!" I frowned and said "awe baby I'm sorry I missed our birthday!" he smiled and said "no you didn't. you just weren't happy durring it!" I frowned and said "so did they tell you what was wrong with mommy?" he frowned and said "well Ava said you weren't happy just like her.. I mean she just said you were unhappy!" I was shocked he said 'weren't happy just like her!' I stood up and started getting dressed after I put my clothes on and grabbed some medical tape I went to the front desk and told her I was signing myself out which I did then I got me and Jake a cab even though it was 4 in the morning when we got home I went straight up to Ava's room. I shook her until she woke up she smiled then said "mom your back!" I frowned and said "yeah and Jake let your secret slip now stand up!" She stood up and I checked her wrists thighs shoulders hips stomach and ankles I saw nothing she was clean I looked at her confused and said "but Jake said that you weren't happy!" she smiled and said "well no one had been lately you have been gone for 3 months!" I hugged her and tucked her back into bed then tucked Jake into bed and went up to mine and Jcs room. He was still on his side of the bed so I just climbed in beside of him and went to sleep. I woke up before Jc so I walked downstairs and saw a bunch of empty beer cans I got kinda saddened by it again then just went on to making breakfast. I made eggs and bacon and toast and pancakes and a bunch of different things I also set out orange juice apple juice coffee and milk. Then Jc walked downstairs looking quite hungover he saw me and smiled he said "babe I'm so glad you back I missed you in so sorry!" I looked down at my wrists and didn't notice they were both bandaged for some reason. I looked back up at jc and said "well I made breakfast I need to go clean my wrists!" he just nodded his head so I walked upstairs and into the bathroom I saw all of Jcs stuff then a bunch of vanilla body was and perfume and stuff and I didn't wear that! I walked downstairs to see Jc pacing around in the living room. I walked over to him and said "so is Ava using our bathroom now?" he frowned and said "well actually while you were gone I kinda ha for find another mother figure for the kids so I went back to Lia." I started to cry and just went back upstairs I grabbed my phone and walked to the o2l I got there and kian was sitting on the couch I ran over to him and jumped on his lap he looked confused and said "what am I dreaming?" I smiled and said "oh poor confused kian! sure bro your dreaming no your not but I did just get out of the hospital this morning and then found out jc got back with lia while I was out oh and I found out that I was out for 3 months!" by that time I was crying and kian pulled me into a tight hug and said "look it's gonna be ok! Connor moved back in and said that he wanted to see you when you woke up he had the sam room go see him!" I ran upstairs and into connors room he was Laying in the bed asleep so I jumped on him and said "ok Connor time to wake you ass up and tell me how much you love mee!" he jumped a little then smiled when he saw that is was me. he sat up and said "oh my god Jillian I missed you!" I smiled then leaned in and kissed him he kissed back! after we kissed for a while I said "so I'm officially single with two kids has anyone got your apartment yet?" he smiled and said "what are you talking about I had an ant problem and came here for the week by today is the last day then I'm going back!" I smiled and said "so how many bedrooms does your apartment have again?" he thought about it and said "4 it has 3 bathrooms too!" I smiled and said "so what do you say you help me move on from Jc and let me Ava mad Jake move in with you and maybe instead of you being uncle Connor you can become dad?" he smiled and said "as long as your the mom in fine with it!" After that we both just kinda laid there on our phones. Then I got a text from Jc
Jc 'babe I need to talk to you!'
Me 'don't call me babe and what is there to talk about you got with Lia again so I don't need to be with you of everytime something happens your just gonna run to her!'
Jc 'please just talk to me and have you seen connors most recent tweet?'
Me 'no let me go look at it brb!'
Then I looked at connor's most recent tweet it said 'laying beside da bae can't wait till the kids get here @JrpJillian!'
I texted Jc and said
me 'ok so I might have kinda told Connor he could help raise the kids if we didn't get back together! and we might have kissed..'
Jc 'I'm not even gonna get mad because I know you were mad at me and that's why you did it but I broke up with Lia and I need to give you something anyway please come home!'
Me 'ugh ok but only long enough for you to give me why you just must give me!'
Jc 'ok thanks love you 😚😚'
Me 'love you too 😘😘'
Jc '😍😍😍😍😍'
Me '😘😍😊☺️'
Jc 'ok now hurry up and get here!'
Me 'ok I'm on my way!'
Then I hopped off of connors bed and said "ok so Jc has to give me something but I shall be back shortly!" after saying that I made my way to mine and jc's house when I got there I saw Ava and Jake getting into Kians car so I waved at them and they drove off when I stepped inside the wall Jc pushed me up against the wall and started to kiss down my neck and my upper body stopping every few kissed to suck lightly on a certain spot. I moan sometimes and Jc would say stuff like "oh you like it when I kiss you there!" or sometimes "you want me to do it again baby?" I know I was mad at Jc but damn that man knows how to pleasure a woman. After a bit of fore play he picked me up and walked me to the bedroom he laid me down on he bed and said "I want you to know I never did it with Lia!" I smiled and said "right now it doesn't matter just show me how much you really love me! (I bet you could guess what happened next TEA PARTY nah jk but that would have been very funny!)
