surreptitious : heart's desire -- a markhyuck au

two

━━━┅━━━┅━━━
didn't know such words
could break me like this
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Sleeping. The young male is dozing off for days. The rest were worried about the young boy's situation. It was confusing how their youngest was acting so melancholy.

soft knock was enough to make Donghyuck look up to the door as he opens it revealing a worried Taeyong. Donghyuck was too tired to even open his mouth and mutter a word.

"Can we talk?" he just nodded in response. The two sit their way to his bed. Just then, a question he didn't expect made him break down.

"Are you okay?" No one. No one had really confronted him if he was fine 'cause others seem to know Donghyuck for his outgoing personality. He tried. He tried his best to form a smile but it ended in flowing more tears from his orbs. His eyes bloodshot and languid from all the crying, set of arms wrapped his body soothing him.

"mind telling me what's wrong?" the leader asked him.

"I'm sorry." with that, the older creased his forehead, confused with what's the younger trying to tell.

"what do you mean by that? sorry? for what?" he wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to tell anyone his disgusting self. He was afraid of the consequences. 'will they accept the way I am?' He was afraid to be criticized. He thought of every negative outcomes with it consuming his heart yet he took the risks. So tired of the lies and pretending, making his burdensome heart heavy. He knew he had to tell someone.

he had a slight hope and wanted even just one to accept and welcome his true self. He wanted someone he can lean on during his hardships and someone he can freely and wholeheartedly tell his feelings and feel free with someone accepting him.

"I'm sorry if you might find me despicable, immoral, a disgrace to the society, but I.. I am.. gay." 

Averting eyes on the floor, he closed his eyes frightened of what the older's reaction will be of his coming out yet a pair of arms pulls him into a warmth embrace. He was in tears again, with it filled with content knowing someone finally accepts him.

"was it Mark?" he lazily shot his eyes towards his hyung and hot tears kept falling.

"shh.. it's fine hyuck. We're always here. You aren't disgusting, you are so precious. You are still Lee Donghyuck, the brat we all love.. keep reminding yourself that you are Donghyuck no matter what." after letting go of each other's embrace, Taeyong cleared his throat "what happened?" the latter bit his lip

"I love him so fucking much it hurts. Not that I never knew, but hearing it from him that he likes someone else. I mean it should be like that. Two of opposite gender falling in love with each other. Being a queer is always a sin, a disgrace.. impurity. I know for a fact in his eyes, I'm only Haechan, his best friend, that's how everything should be, right?" biting his lips; lips quivering, as he tried curving a smile but ends up more of hot liquid flow from his eyes.. This isn't healthy. But why would he care? What's happening to him in daily basis wasn't healthy anymore.

Taeyong could only stare, feeling remorseful. He wanted to take the pain from the younger. He's so young to feel and experience so much pain. He deserves having fun, not all these burden in his life.

He felt helpless as embracing the latter was all he can do, hoping he could at least ease and calm the latter. He runs his slender hands in the young boy's Auburn hair calming the younger. He knew it was helping as the quiet sobs we're easing.

"I'll just bring you breakfast and get ready for our schedule later night. This morning, rest. Don't overthink and overtire yourself hyuckie" The older stood up and Donghyuck faintly nod his head in response.

despite of people being intimidated by Taeyong, those who knew his personality knows how soft, caring and loving he is.. Donghyuck weakly smiled at the thought of how lucky he is getting love from his beloved members. This is what he wants to hold on for now.

but how can I?
if whenever I see you all the pain is lingering back?

"Hyuck, let's talk." someone puts an arm around him startling him and made him flinch as if he was burning from the touch. He's aware how transparent he might have been but still hoped the older didn't noticed. 

"Oh sorry, I startled you, haha" he couldn't look at his eyes making Mark furrow his eyebrows but later brushed it off.

He feels like what's Mark going to say will destruct him as he felt nervous instinct along with continuous thumping of his heart.

Mark guided the tanned male towards his bedroom closing the door after. Donghyuck was still confused.

"what is it?" the Canadian male sat at the edge of his bed motioning the younger to sit besides him. Donghyuck sat still keeping distance from his friend he was madly in love with.

Smiling from ear to ear as excitement was written on his face. Mark faced Donghyuck saying,

"I have a girlfriend."