Finally Free

one

It's been a mere 2 days since the trial. I find myself needing to go and talk to Sage. I need to know what's real and what's not. I need to know what happened to Carter, my childhood friend. I need to know if he really killed that man or if he was framed.

I need to know because if I don't get the answers, I'm going to drive myself insane wondering. Christian says that he'll come with me. I'm going to make him wait outside wherever I'll be talking to Sage though. I need him to talk, I know he won't in front of Christian.

I tug on a pair of blue jeans and throw on a powder pink sweater. Christian has a white t-shirt and blue jeans on, he looks so good.

I walk out of my moms apartment and walk down the hallway. Christian follows behind me. I need to know what he's lied about. I need to know what's true. I've been thinking these past two days. I've been thinking about everything.

I was abused. I was hurt, broken. Hell, I still am. I have PTSD among a bunch of other anxiety disorders. I know I escaped my father. I know that I'm forever safe from him now, but it still hurts so bad. I keep remembering my life with them, with Sage and Marie and Val. It was so good.

But now, now Marie hates me. I've tried to talk to her, but she won't talk. She just says that I hurt her, but I have no idea what I truly did. I keep thinking back to my relationship with Sage. The months I spent with him, in his bed, in his arms. And just like that, it was over. And I know full well that I'm the one that ended things, but I can't help but miss it. He was my first in so many different ways.

I know that I'll always love him, I'll always and forever care about him, but I also know that I'm better without him. I need to move on, and to do that, I have to talk to him. I need answers. And I need to once and for all say goodbye.

It's going to hurt. It's going to be insanely difficult for me. I'm going to cry because I'm about to just thinking about it.

But I'm going to do it.

I need to do it.

Christian opens my door and I get into the passenger seat. I buckle up and rest my head against the seat. I take a deep breath and play with my necklace. It's my moms necklace. She gave it to me when I got away from my father for the last time. It's her first initial, which is also my first initial, with a diamond next to it. It's a really beautiful necklace.

The car starts and moves forward. I'm nervous now. Very, very nervous. We pull onto the road but I'm pulled into my thoughts.

What do I say. Does he even want to see me? Is he okay? I know he's in there for at least 10 years. That's crazy. 10 years of his life, wasted. Gone. 10 years. Wow. I really couldn't imagine.

Being in prison for 10 years. Locked up, little to no freedom. Not being able to live. Not being able to go to school, get a degree, get a job, settle down, have a family, and just live. It's so crazy.

I know I have to move on because that would be 10 years of my life, waiting for someone who might just go right back into jail. I have to forget. I have to move on. I have to continue on with my own life. I'm not going to let him hold me back.

"You okay?" Christian says resting his hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and we're parked in the visitor parking lot at the prison. I nod. "Take a second, we don't have to go in yet." He turns the car off and I sit there, staring at the huge building. There's a fence surrounding the place with barbed wire on top of it.

It's scary. There's a lot of security. Not a lot of windows. There's only a few doors. I unbuckle and open my door before stepping out. Christian meets me at the front of the car and takes my hand.