The One I Need.

Stalking.

I type in "Theo" on instagram. Ugh, how stupid of me. I don't know his last name. How am I supposed to find him now? Somehow I manage to find him. Don't ask me how. But I have. Maybe it is a sign? Ellie, you weirdo, since when do you believe in the world giving you signs? Whatever. He only has 3 pictures posted on his profile. Two of them are from 1 year ago and are of quotes. Quite sad once actually. And the third on is of him. A "Tumblr boy" picture. My fingers by themselves press the buttons that have to be pressed to take a screenshot. What the heck are you doing Ellie? I smile at my phone. This behavior is really weird. It is like I am two people in one right now. I decide to send him a DM. Just a simple "Hey". Wow, I can't believe I just did that. We have talked twice, and I already feel a really strong connection. And one of the times was at a party, where I was way too drunk to function. I have never felt this attracted to a person before. Also not this fast. I don't know what it is.

I get ripped out of my thoughts by a loud "BIIIING". Damn, that boy be replying fast. His response is "Are you a stalker?". Oh god, I just made it even more awkward. It is quite creepy that I have found him by just typing in his first name in the searchbar on Instagram, I must admit. I don't know what to reply, so I don't. A few minutes later I get another notification. It is from Theo again. This time it says: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you off. I am glad you found me :)" I smirk at his text. I type: "Right.. I am sorry too for being so awkward. And also for ruining your clothes." "It's fine. I didn't like that shirt anyway." "

We text pretty much the whole day. I even ignore the texts Emm meanwhile has been sending me. We decide to meet up a time this upcoming weekend. Chatting with him has only made me happier and more eager to talk to him again. I hope it won't be as awkward, even after my three bummers, where I first kiss him without him even wanting it, then I throw up on him, then I run into him at my shrink's office, and then I out of nothing text him like a stalker. I guess it technically was stalking. Since it was my intention to find him, but only knowing his first name. But anyway. It now is almost 2 AM, and I should go to bed. But I first decide to finally text back Emmelie so that she doesn't get mad at me. Because trust me... that isn't fun at all! Even though she definitely already is in bed sleeping. "Getting her beauty sleep" as she calls it. I tell her everything from today. That Theo and I have been texting, and are planning on meeting this weekend. I hope he is serious about it, and won't get cold feet and stand me up.

This boy is making me so damn happy, although it only has been 2 weeks since Adam and I broke up. But I can feel that it is for the better. Not even he could make me feel the way Theo is making me feel. Not even in the three years we were together. I get ready for bed, and lay down. I look up into the ceiling. But tonight it isn't my bad thoughts that are filling up my head. It is Theo. He is just really cute and adorable, funny, charming etc. It is the first night in a looooong time I actually can fall asleep. And that even with a smile on my face. How he does it? I am not quite sure...