The One I Need.

First meet.

... and I run directly into someone. "Oh God, I am so sorry." "Haha, you are all good. Why the rush?" "I am running late to meet a friend." I look up and see a smiling Theo reaching down to help me up from the ground. "A friend you say? Well, then I know that now. This seems to be the way we always run into each other haha." "Oh, I am sorry, Theo, I really didn't see you there. I was in my own thoughts. And I didn't mean it like that." "Ellie, I mean it. It is okay. Should we get going?", he says. I get up from the ground, nod at him and smile quite awkwardly at him.

We walk into a small cosy café a little further down the street. It is a kind of old looking café, but it makes it quite authentic. "Ellie?" I shake my head. What is up with my head today. I say: "Yeah?" "I asked what you wanted to get?" "Oh, yeah, right. I think I will just get a Latte. What are you getting?" "Are you kidding? I also want a Latte! Is that your comfort too?" "All the time! It is simply the best. With the hot foamy milk. So nice for any day." "Exactly! But I also think I will get a piece of lemon cake. They have the best here." "Maybe I will get some too then. I will go order." Right as I get up to go order Theo shouts: "NO! Sit, I will do it. That is what you do for a friend." I blush and smile. Fuck, why did I say that? He comes back with two Lattes and two pieces of lemon cake with lots of drizzle on it. I am not really hungry. But I want to give the cake a fair shot.

None of us really say anything while we eat and drink. Sometimes we just look at each other and smile. I break the silence: "It really is a good lemon cake." "Exactly, right?" An older woman comes walking towards our table smiling at Theo. As she stands next to our table, she says: "Is everything alright here?" Both Theo and I nod hard. "That is good. Theo, are you coming to work today?" "No grandma, I told you I was hanging out with a friend today." "Sorry, grandma?", I cut them off. "Yes, this is my grandmothers café, and I work here every other day." "Ah, well, nice to meet you then." I put my hand out to greet the old lady. "No sweetheart. You a friend of my little Theo, then we are already friends. And friends hug. Come here." She pulls me in for a hug. I have a little bit of claustrophobia, so it is a little hard to hug a stranger just like that. But it is over quite quickly. "Can I bring you two something else? Lattes maybe?" "No thank you grandma, we are fine." "Oh come on. I will bring two more Lattes. On the house." She smiles as she turns away and goes back behind the counter. "I am sorry, my grandma can be quite something sometimes." It is fine. I survived haha." We sit and talk for some time, while we in the meantime get our other Lattes. I learn that Theo is my age, has never had a girlfriend. Only in sixth grade, which lasted a week. He likes to read. And bake. And while he tells all that, he a few times runs his hand through his hair. I can't help but notice it everytime. It does something to me. Makes me feel weak. I have never had this feeling before. But it must be nothing, because I can't be over Adam already, can I? I brush the thought and feeling off me, until I yet again hear: "Ellie, you there?" "Uhm, yes." "Are you okay? You zone out quite a lot." "Yes sorry, I am okay. I am just a lot in my head today. Don't worry about it. Should we pay?" "Already done." "I can't let you do that Theo." "Well, it is done. Want to go for a walk?" "Sure thing."

We walk a little further down the street, past a few cute tiny shops that I actually didn't even know were there. Maybe I should leave the house more often. I realize we are holding hands. But none of us are saying anything. We are just walking. I look at the time. It is already almost 8pm. Time went by really fast today, surprisingly.

"Oh it is already pretty late, I should probably go home soon." "That is okay. Want me to follow you home?" "It is quite a long way from here, I would have to take the bus." "That's okay, I will go with you." We walk towards the next busstop, still holding and in silence. The bus arrives and we step on it, me first. My favorite busdriver is driving the bus, and just smiles at me and lets me go through. He is a good friend of my mothers. We sit down, me at the window. The busdrive is around half an hour. Suddenly I feel something heavy on my shoulder. Theo. He fell asleep. I can't help but smile to myself. He is really cute when he sleeps. Of course not just when he sleeps, but I didn't expect him to look to peaceful when he sleeps. I mean, I don't know what I expected, but it is definitely cute. As we come around the corner from my busstop, I choose to wake up Theo. "Theo? This is my stop." He slowly wakes up and rubs his eyes as he realizes he slept on my shoulder. He blushes. Cute. Again. "Sure, let me go with you." Damn, what a gentleman. He has already done more than enough for me today, but he doesn't let me go. "Sooo Is your house far from here?" "No, just around the corner. Literally. Maybe two to three minutes?" "Ow okay."

"Here we are" "Okay." "Okay." We laugh. I get the key out of my bag to open the door. As I open the door my mom shouts from the kitchen: "Ellie, is that you?" "Yeah Mom." My Mom comes out to the entry rambling about something as she stops herself when she sees Theo. "Oh well hello young man. I haven't seen you before. Tess." "Hello Ma'am, I am Theo. A friend of Ellie's." "Okay, now Mom can you let me say goodbye to Theo?" "What? You just want to let him go? No, I raised you better than that. Let him in for a cup of coffee or something." "Theo, you don't have to." "No, I would love to!"

All three walk into the kitchen, my Mom grabbing three mugs. "Uhm, sorry Ma'am, could I maybe just have a water instead?" "Please, just call me Tess. Of course!" We all sit down at the kitchen table, my Mom and Theo talking. I slowly drift off into my own thoughts again. Is this day even real? Is this boy even real? Is anything real? It can't be. This isn't like my life. I get pulled back into reality when my Mom puffs me in the side: "Such a nice young man you have here Ellie. How come you have never introduced us? Anyway, I will head to bed now. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. It was nice meeting you Theo!" "You too Ma'am I mean Tess." She walks off. "I better get going now too. Before it gets too late." "Uhm sure. I will lead you out."

We get to the door again. Theo puts on his shoes and puts his jacket back on. "Soo" "Soo" "It was a really nice day today. I really enjoyed it. I haven't felt like this in some time. Thank you." "Of course! It was really nice getting to know you better." "You too. And thanks for the cake and Latte." "No worries." The awkward silence returns. We both stand there smirking at the floor. I finally take the initiative to say something. Wow, who am I? "Well, then" "Yes sorry." "'Til next time then." "Yes. Text you?" "Yes!" We get eye contact and smile at each other. Wow, his eyes are so deep. Our faces get closer. Our lips get closer. I close my eyes Oh, what am I doing?

I interrupt our little moment: "Have a save walk home. It is quite dark already." "Uhm, uhhhh. Yes." "Goodnight Theo." "Goodnight Ellie." I close the door after him and stand there against the door for a bit. Fuck. What just happened. I mean, it didn't happen. But what happened? This is fast. Unlike anything I have tried before. What is he doing to me? Was I really just about to kiss him? ALREADY? Uhm, well, okay. Nothing happened. Hopefully it is not awkward between us now. Even if we would have kissed, it could have been awkward now. So it is what it is I guess. Fuck. I run into my room and throw myself directly onto my bed, screaming into my pillow. I am okay. Am I not?