“You’re wearing this dress whether you like it or not” Tonia threatens me, holding the small white dress with its shear top and cut outs on the sides that trailed to the back in her extended hands.
“I don’t have the body to wear that dress, Tonia”
Ever since I was thirteen I have struggled with being super self-conscience when it came to my body. I was and still am short, I have a small chest, and very minimal curves. I’m not the girl who guys see and go ‘wow she’s hot’. I was just kind of there: the only redeeming factors that I have would be having somewhat of a butt and that I look alright in a bikini if you look at my lower torso due to my flat stomach and abs.
“You don’t have the body my ass. For goodness sakes, you’re a diver of course you have the body for this dress” Tonia shouts at me forcefully putting the dress into my hands.
“But Tonia…” I whine. She crosses her arms across her chest and raises her right eyebrow at me. As much as I didn’t want to wear the dress, I had too. I just let out a sigh and stomp off to the bathroom.
“Good girl” Tonia smacks my but as I walk away. “Now hurry up, I still have to do your hair and makeup.
After an hour of tugging and pulling at my hair and putting god knows what on my face and I was what Tonia deemed as her beautiful brunette Barbie. While she was over the moon with how my short hair looked when she waterfall braided it on both sides of my head and how the brown and gold smoky eye that she created looked so awesome, I was constantly staring at the itty bitty dress she had put me in. Yes she was right I did have the body for this dress and I actually felt extremely pretty in it, but I couldn’t help wondering what if I hadn’t had the abortion. As I stand in front of Tonia’s full length mirror I wrap my arms around my stomach; I would have been going on three months and I would definitely have a baby bump by now so, I sure as hell wouldn’t be wearing this little dress. What if I kept the baby, would Tom still be with me or would we still have crashed and burned?
“Laci are you alright?” Tonia asks placing a hand on my shoulder and snapping me out of my trance.
“Yeah, I’m fine” I lie unwrapping my arms from around my stomach. Tonia stares at me skeptically as I walk towards the door. “Come on let’s get this party started everyone should be showing up in a few minutes” I grab her hand a pull her out the door with me.
*
“Jack Laugher!” I slur slightly as I see him walking into Tonia living room. I drop my drink down on the closest table as I run towards him stumbling every step of the way until I am eventually steadied by his arms.
“What did Tonia do, make you her life-size Barbie?” he asks gesturing to my entire being from the makeup on my face to the heels on my feet. I didn’t know how to respond so I just shrug my shoulders slightly and look away from him. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way Laci-Rae. You actually look really fit” a cheeky smile breaks through his lips as he wraps his arm around my waist.
“Im not drunk enough to want you Laugher” I take his arm off of me
“Dammit!” he laughs sarcastically snapping his fingers. I just shove him in the chest which in my impaired state and lack of balance in heels even when I’m completely sober caused me to tilt backwards a bit. Jack catches me with the same arm I just forced away from me.
“Thank you” I mumble quietly. His face was barely a few centimeters away from mine and I swear he was beginning to lean in closer. I quickly move my head away giving him a peck on the cheek; for once in my life I had no need to go up onto my toes due to the killer heels Tonia had supplied me with.
