Haylee Reanor is a very successful woman at the age of 24 she built her own company from the ground up.
Connor Luca took over his fathers business at 27, even though he had other plans with his life.
Both Haylee and Connor have a painful past with...
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I was so confused. How can I go from not wanting to be around Connor to laughing and joking like we used to. My mind was all over the place and right now if you asked me my left from my right I probably couldn't tell you.
Unlocking my apartment, I threw my keys on the bowl on the side. Connors laugh booming through the hall still.
Instantly I received a questioning look from kade when he realised Connor was with me and Lexi.
"Sis what's going on" he whispered.
"Honestly I don't know kade" I laughed grabbing a vase out of the cupboard to put the flowers in. "Right now it's just like old times before drugs got involved and I am so confused one minute I don't want him near me and the next we are like this" I sighed.
"Just be careful" he whispered "I know how fragile your heart is at the moment"
"I think we are just going to talk, we need to get things out in the open after how things where left" I whispered before walking back into the loving room.
After a couple of hours just chilling kade stood up smiling at me.
"I'm gonna go see ma for a bit seen as I've been staying with you, lexi you coming I'm sure my mum would love to see you" he said giving me a look. A look that told me to talk to him.
"But I'm comfy" she whined
"I don't care you are coming with me" he said glaring at her.
"Oh" she grinned getting up and giving me a hug. "You better let me know how it goes" she whispered in my ear.
"Why did they leave?" Connor questioned as I sat back down.
"Because we need to talk, lay everything out on the table as the way we left things isn't good for either of us. And they knew I would just keep putting it off" I sighed playing with the sleeves of the hoodie.
"Are you sure?" He questioned "its going to mean bringing everything back up" worry laced in his voice.
"I'm sure I need to open up about it" I whispered still not making eye contact with him. "Just listen please I need to get it all out" I sighed looking up.
"Everything was perfect after we left school. I think things started to go down hill the night I found out that you was dealing. You thought it would be fun to try some of the gear. You always used to bring it home, after a couple of months I took some because I liked the feeling it gave me" tears forming in my eyes. I took a deep breath.
"Fast forward about 6 months, I was taking it pretty much every day, the day you found out we had that massive fight. That fight broke me. It was the reason I carried on doing it as it took me away from our failing relationship" I felt Connor take hold of my hand to let me know he was there.
"I couldn't bare the thought of losing you but the fights where getting worse as time went on. Until I couldn't take it anymore. The night I over dosed I did it on purpose" I cried, using my sleeve to wipe my eyes I looked up to see Connor just looking at me silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Hayls you don't have to continue if it's too much" he whispered stroking my hand.
"I need to con, I think the reason I overdosed was my way of crying out for help. I thought it would make you see what was going on and how bad you dealing was killing me. But when I found out you found me in our bed and just left that stung. Honestly if it was for kade sensing something bad had happened or was going to happen, call it twin intuition, I probably wouldn't be here today. After I came out of hospital I stayed with Lexi so my mum wouldn't see me in the state I was. I had promised them I would get clean. I've been clean for 3 years now but rehab was the hardest time of my life. All I wanted was you to come and tell me everything would be ok. But that never happened. I've been in rehab 3 times, relapsed twice but I came out of rehab 3 years ago and started to get my life back on track. I thought I was doing so well until I saw you at my mums recently. All these feelings I had buried were coming back. And when some guy placed the bag of coke in my hands I didn't know what to do" I cried at this point I had fully lost control.
I felt the weight on the sofa change and I was pulled into connors arms. I felt safe. The tears wouldn't stop.
"It's ok, I've got you know baby" he whispered rocking me gently.
"What we had before the drugs was good. In fact it was amazing. I really do want to get back to that but I'm so fucking scared history will repeat its self. I tried everything to forget you, I lost count how many times I've tried to burn or get rid of this stupid yellow hoodie. As sad as it sounds it's my comfort blanket. I've been on dates but they don't go anywhere because I know deep down my heart belongs to you. It always has done." I whispered leaning into his chest.
"Right now I'd rather feel nothing, it's better, it's easier" I cried, clinging on to him like he would disappear at any moment.
"We both went off the rails after I found you, I completely lost myself. I got involved with some bad people and ended up being locked up for 2 years for gbh" tears running down his face. "I am so sorry I put you through what I did. I was such a fucking idiot. I completely understand if you don't want anything more to do with me but thank you for telling me everything" he whispered kissing the top of my head.
"I think you need to take some time away. Go on holiday, don't worry about work, don't stress over anything. Take some time for yourself. Get your head back in a better place. As I said it's up to you now" he whispered.
"I'm scared Connor" I wimpered.
"I know baby, I know, but if what ever your decide I will respect. If you decide you want to give us a shot then we will take every day as it comes and go at your pace" he smiled.
I wiggled out of his arms laying my head on his lap and curling up into a ball. I felt him play with my hair. We stayed silent, neither of us knowing what to say.
Soon enough I felt sleep come over me. Instead of fighting it, I succumbed to it, falling asleep in the lap of the idiot that's always held my heart.
