Song -Give Me Novacaine by Green Day
Louis' POV:
I wake up tangled in a sheet on the floor. Liam is standing above me . He looks at me horrified . How long has he been standing here . What is he gawking at ? Oh my god. Everything hurts. My mind immediately flashes back to the night before . Shit. Shit. Shit. There are tears in his eyes .
"Louis...I...oh my god".
I just ... oh my god how do I go about this ...
I wrap myself in the sheet and run into the bathroom slamming the door shut and immediately locking it . Huh yeah way to deal with it , Louis.
"Louis, wait , I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you off.. I ... uh just .. the bus ... it's leaving in an hour ... soo.."
Maybe if I just ignore him for long enough , he will go away.
"Louis open this door. Are you okay ? oh my god."
Silence . Oh sure it may be the most illy poetic cliche to say that silence can be so loud, but it's all too true.
This was that silence.
We both just sat there pathetically on either side of a door. If this was a chick flick we'd both be sitting there with our angst as the camera somehow got a shot from between the wall and doorframe of us both sitting there, the screen equally divided in half by the door. But this wasn't a movie. If movies were real life they wouldn't sell. No one wants to pay to be reminded of how pointless out existence is.To see every imperfection that you carry on your back blown up. To acknowledge the mundane cyclic life that you've scribbled random colours into like a young child colours a black and white print out. Novacaine is pointless. Reality erases the effects of it immediately .
Liam knocks on the door, now crying .
"Louis, please. Maybe you don't want help, maybe it's that I can't offer the right kind of help , but maybe someone else can?"
No! Without thinking I yell," If you fucking tell ANYONE- do hear me Payne? -ANYONE!," I pause awkwardly not knowing what to say . I choke back a sob and just barely utter" Just please don't tell anyone. I'm not ready for that. I wasn't ready for YOU to know . Don't tell anyone. Not Niall , not Zayn, not uhh ... No one ."
" On one condition ?"
"What?"
"You talk to me about this , when you're ready."
Yeah that'll be never . Not a bloody chance. Dare I say bullshit on my part even , but I lie through my teeth again. " oh uh sure Liam. Of course . just please don't tell ANYONE!"
"I promise, Louis. I'm sorry I just want you to be happy."
" You should go."
"Oh... uh okay. Bus leaves in an hour"
"I know".
I wait until I hear the door to my room close. I wait a couple minutes to make sure he doesn't come back. I walk over to my suitcase slowly, pain coursing over every inch of me.
I carefully throw on boxers and some loose sweatpants and a sweatshirt . Everything needs to be covered, but loose enough not to irritate them. It's amazing . After all of the pain I went through last night - not to mention with Liam this morning - my skin still itches to be opened , to feel pain, to paint my body red. So I open my suitcase , take off my sweatshirt , and I do.
Take away the sensation inside
Bittersweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore
Drain the pressure from the swelling,
This sensation's overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine
Harry's POV
Liam enters the room and closes the door. His eyes are swollen and red. Oh no. Please tell me that Niall farted really bad or something and it's making him tear up ... because if Louis' hurt I'll be ... no Louis being hurt should make me glad . Glad not sad. Glad not sad. Glad not sad.
"Liam?"
He looks up.
"Thanks for , uh, checking on him for me".
"He's so broken , Harry".
I know, so am I, but it's better this way. I'm so bad for him. "I ... uh... yeah".
"He loves you Harry, please . I know you still love him, so please , regardless of what happened last time , I'm sure he'd forgive if you just told him what happened. You could end all of this....He's so hurt".
I love him so much. He's all I want so much that it's hurting me to think of even his name, but he would never forgive me. "I don't love him, get the fuck out Payne".
"THEN WHY'D YOU HAVE ME CHECK ON HIM FOR YOU? YOU SHOULD SEE HIM HARRY!! HES COVERED IN GASHES! HE WROTE "I'M DISGUSTING " ON HIS OWN CHEST AND A GIANT H ON GIS STOMACH WITH A FUCKING BLADE HARRY! IS THIS BETTER THAN YOU TELLING HIM WHAT HAPPENED!!"
What ! Louis did what !? I can hear myself yelling at him and calling him disgusting a sob develops in my chest. My Louis. My Louis. My Bear. "GET OUT LIAM!"
I walk into the hallway just as Louis is leaving his room. He's fully dressed, but I can't help but know exactly what he's hiding. it's all I can see. I feel nauseous and run back into my room.
YOU ARE READING
Rip It All To Shreds (Something Great)
Fanfiction----- No, Louis. My angel, I broke your wings , but I can't repair them. I've wasted enough of your time already. We were so happy together. Louis you were the first person I loved. I still love you, and I know you still love me , but I refuse to be...
