Rip It All To Shreds (Something Great)

We All Die Trying to Get it Right

These last few chapters I hadn't even planned for they're just spewing from my brain rn, so hopefully they're not too terrible. They are kind of changing the course of the plot I had planned , but I may be able to tie it in. Hmmmmm. Sorry not sorry for the update spam, still some more to come!!!

~s

Louis' POV:

I wish they would stop obsessing over me . They care about me. Why? Why so they care about me? I'm disgusting. I'm selfish. I'm just gross. This is it. This is the time . I better do it now before they find it I themselves to care more. If they wake up and find me gone, I'll be gone. No sense in being a sick waste of oxygen anymore. I pull out my phone and open twitter, and write a tweet

"Don't cry for me, I'd prefer that you didn't. It's better this way. Thanks to all of those who cared, it's not your fault."

Posted. I do one last thing before reaching for bottle of pills on the sink counter. I tweet one last time, paraphrasing the tweet that started all of this mess. "Always in my heart Harry, as twisted as it may be."

Done.

I grab the bottle of pills and spill them all out into my hand, a few falling to the floor. The door flies open. Harry flies through and smacks my hand so that the pills fly everywhere.

"Fuck! Look what you've done now!"I yell.

"Louis" he looks at me so saddened.

"I was supposed to die, Harry!"

"Louis"

"Are you done? I'd like to get on with what I was doing. You wasted a perfectly good bottle of ibuprofen ! Now I'm going to have to find something else!"

"Louis"

"Is that all you can fucking say? My hero. My bloody hero! Get out!"

"No. Stop. Sit down." Harry's phone dings in his pocket and he looks at it. He looks back up with tears in his eyes. "Your heart, is not twisted. Nothing about you is twisted, except the fact that you still care about me, you care about me enough to hate yourself. It's a waste.

I can't say anything else. I just sit down and cry. Great. I'm a fucking baby. I'm honestly surprised I have any tears left . Harry comes over bad puts his arms around me.. I wince. Shit. Harry looks at me puzzled. The he reaches for the hem of my long sleeved shirt and he pulls it over my head giving me no time to resist. I can see his eyes widen. He's holding back a shriek. No.

"Louis... the cuts , and the ... are those burns?"

"You... uh... you left your lighter in here."

"Oh my god"

"It's .. oh god ... see .. this is why I didn't want anyone knowing. They'd pity me. They'd feel sad , when they should just hate me for the worthless and disgusting and needy person I am. Go away Harry! Go away! I know what you're thinking!"

Instead of leaving he picks me up bridal style and marches into his room and locks the door behind us.

"You're not leaving until I have apologised for everything."

"Harry.... you don't need to apologise for anything."

"Look, it's my fault, and I don't think that I can do anything to fix it really , but .... I'm sure as hell going to try."

With that he crawls into bed with me and he plants little kisses on each of my cuts, scars, burns just repeating the words" You're beautiful" over and over again. It's beautiful. He is beautiful. I wish I could bottle this moment and keep it forever, because I know in the morning I'm going to have to pretend it never happened. What has my life come to? Why haven't I died yet? what happened to evrything? what happened to Harry and I? What happened to me? I use to be so confident. I've been lying to myself this whole time, pretending that the Louis who auditioned for the X-factor is the same today.

"Harry... I thought I was in control, but I guess I'm not"

"Louis, look at me. I've destroyed myself. I thought I wasn't in love, and worse that you weren't, but I was just drinking from ... bottles.. bottles of .... bottles of lies, and smoking trying to forget, but it never got any better."

"We all will die trying to get it right"

"So aim high and aim true?"

I sigh "I love that song"

He sings it to me until I fall asleep.