I've been wanting to write this chapter forever. I'm interested in possibly updating my cover, if anyone is interested in making me one please let me know. I'd be eternally greatful.
Song- Georgia by Vance Joy ( Do you guys listen to the songs when you read the chapters?)
Louis' POV:
Oh god, I don't know why I decided to invite him to sit with me, all I know is that I wanted him to. His shoulders are so firm and inviting as I rest my head on his left shoulder. We are confined to the size of the hospital bed, but it's the coziest I have been in a while.
We both just kind of lay silently- the silence a result of not quite knowing what to say and enjoying the moment.
I'm really relaxed, and really tired. Recovering and trying to assure my mom that I was fine when I haven't even assured myself has taken its toll on my energy, and before I know it I am sleeping.
I am woken up shortly after to a weird but familiar sensation. The feeling is amazing. I open my eyes. Harry's hand is in mine, and he is centimeters from my face, our noses practically together.
"Sorry," he apologizes moving away.
"For what?"
"For.. uh," he blushes," kissing you... and waking you up. You're recovering, you need sleep and I.."
I cut him off with a quick innocent kiss.
"Now we're even."
This is how the next 20 minutes proceed -Light kisses and empty consciences. It was, for lack of a better word, pretty fricking great.
"I missed this, a lot actually" I whisper as we retire to just cuddling and holding hands.
"Funny, I was just thinking that."
"Harry, I, uh understand if you want to pretend this didn't happen tomorrow, but I'm really happy that it is... you know happening."
He shifts to look me in the eyes.
"Oh Lou, no. I promise, I'm not going to revert to that again this time, and please know that it's not your fault when I have before. I'm just... screwed up, and hurt people when I can't seem to understand things."
"Oh.. I.. you are perfectly screwed up."
"Well, that's sweet of you to say, but it's led to me hurting people, including myself, but mostly you, Lou, and you're so beautiful and perfect and... I just.... you're the last person I want to hurt."
"Wow. Thanks. I uh... wow, you too. You're such an amazing person though- you have no idea. Besides," my voice drops a little and I don't entirely intend for Harry to hear me, but he does, "no one could hurt me as much as I hurt myself. I am the disgusting one, you said it yourself."
"LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON!" He rolls me so I am on top of him, curled up while his strong arms hold me. " You are the most beautiful person I know, and it's honestly dismal that you do not see it. YOU are not DISGUSTING, and I am sickened that I told you that. I am so sorry, although I know an apology will never do. Lou, can I ask you a really serious question that will undoubtedly kill the moment?"
I am hesitant to respond. I have a feeling I know where this is ago, and I don't like it. How did this conversation get turned around to talking about me?
Harry interrupts my thoughts.
"It's okay, Lou. You don't have to say yes."
"No, it's fine... ask me."
"Why do you... why do you ... hurt yourself?"
I knew this was coming. God, if I tell him he's going to worry about me all of the time, and I don't want that, and ... oh no, time to turn this away from me.
"Same reason you do what you do."
"I was afraid of that."
Realizing the truth in what I said hurts. I tried to tell myself that Harry was better off, but look at us, we are a mess. We both destroy ourselves hoping to calm the feelings we have for the other only to end up intensifying the feeling which leads to more pain and a nasty cycle. This insanity and pain needs to stop, and I can' t stand the thought of Harry ever feeling half as hurt as I do when I use my blades. It's going to be hard, but for him anything is worth it.
"Harry I've wasted some much time denying everything, and I'vefiannly worked it out."
"What's that?"
" This is going to be extremely difficult, yet worth the while, so we need to be willing to fight this batle, but we need to remember that we are fighting the same war and that we are fighting on the same side."
"That was the best thing I've heard all day."
"I agree."
"You're going to kiss me now right? I just might go crazy when you do, but crazier if you don't"
He chuckles and complies.
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Rip It All To Shreds (Something Great)
Fanfiction----- No, Louis. My angel, I broke your wings , but I can't repair them. I've wasted enough of your time already. We were so happy together. Louis you were the first person I loved. I still love you, and I know you still love me , but I refuse to be...
