i'll be good // e.d

7. can i?

^song : flawless/the neighborhood

ethan's pov

11:32pm

what just happened was terrifying to me.

"why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

"scared and weak." she replied.

"i just wish i knew..."

"why?"

"i told you, i promised ryan." i said honestly

"but why?"

"oh, come on. you know how we were. i care about you so much. i can't let such a beautiful girl be treated like that.

"you think I'm beautiful?" she asked playing the ends of her hair.

"you already know i do" I said taking my finger and lifting her chin.

she shrugged, she wasn't confident at all and i knew it.

"did he ever.. try anything sexual on you? like trying to..." i didn't want to say the word.

"rape? no, he never tried anything like that. every time we did it, it was consensual but when he gets drunk he can get handsy." she was telling the truth

"that's good at least."

a silence fell ever the room, not an uncomfortable one but quiet enough to hear her breathing.

i got up off the bed and walked into the bathroom

"why don't we get you cleaned up and take a shower and then we could maybe watch a movie? if you're cool with me staying, yeah?"

she looked at me with the most loving eyes.

she innocently nodded and got up.

"i would like that." she answered standing in front of me.

I turned the water on and pulled the curtain closed.

she stood on the bathroom rug, moving her toes around, unsure of what to do next.

"if you don't mind..." i said reaching to the hem of her black hoodie. carefully pulling it over her head. she lifted her arms up and let it slide over her face. i tugged the leggings off her hips and left them hit the floor. leaving her yet again in her under wear. this wasn't the first time i had seen her naked. not referring to earlier

"sit." i said gently.

she sat down on the toilet seat. i grabbed her arm and unwrapped the gauze, she winced. both her arms were sliced to shreds. she looked at the floor.

"hey..." i whispered "it's okay." i tossed the wrapping out and pulled up my sleeves, exposing scars.

she looked up at me and took her small finger, running it up and down my arms.

she pulled my arm closer to her and gently kissed each major scar. then extended her other arm out and allowed me to unwrap it. i discarded it and stood her up.

"do you have any disinfectants?" she pulled the cabinet open and handed me a black bottle, i then poured a small amount on a rag and carefully dabbed each on. she flinched but didn't pull away. obviously used to it.

i stood her up and looked at her gently.

"can i?" i asked gesturing to her bra.

she nodded and slightly lifted up her arms.

i unclasped her bra and gently slid it down her arms, letting it hit the floor and then i took my two fingers and slide her underwear down.

this was the first time i was undressing a girl that i wasn't about to fuck.

she looked down at herself and i could see the wave of fear take over her body.

"hey, it's okay. i'm not going to do anything you don't want me too." i said

i wrapped my arms around her again.

"get in." i slid the curtain open enough for her to get in.

as she showered, i laid down on her bed and thoughts began to take over my mind

i had to admit, she has an incredible body, absolutely flawless but i was in no way going to try anything or take advantage of her, that would completely sick. i was going to let her become comfortable with me first, just like she used to.

i could see myself making love to her and her beautiful body, gently and whole heartedly. i had never felt like this before about any girl. She was so different so special from everyone else. these thoughts filled my head, causing me to smile to myself

i need to protect this girl with my life.

i heard the shower turn off, i had left clothes and a fresh towel in the bathroom for her.

a few moments later she came out dressed and with her hair in a bun, she smiled and walked over to me. i propped myself up and returned a smile

"movie?" i asked

she nodded and pushed herself up on the bed, sitting against the head board wrapping her arms around her knees.

"sixteen candles." she whispered

"if that's what lana desires, that's what she will get." i said in a cheesy tone.

about half way through the movie i glanced over at her, still in the same position

"do you want to lay down?"

she looked at me with a nervous glossiness in her eye. she chewed on her lip

i slightly smiled

"it's okay, lana, i'm not gonna do anything and i won't hurt you."

she slid under her white comforter and stretched her legs out. she slowly got closer to me and laid her head on my chest.

"here, hold on." i sat up and slid my shirt over my head. laying back down and she returned to her position. i gently stroked her hair as her breathing slowed down. i missed this.

lana's pov

finally, at peace..

he made me feel amazing.

i slowly drifted off to sleep on this chest as he stroked my hair.

just like old times.