i'll be good // e.d

17. its over

^song : shark / oh wonder

lanas pov
10:05

me and ethan made our way to the front of building after parking the car.

ruby's was small and designed for locals.

everyone knew the employees and all the employees knew the customers. me and ethan used to come here a lot to get some peace and quiet.

the cafe was decorated for christmas. a garland was hung over the door. christmas lights strung from the ceiling to the wall. a christmas tree was set up in the corner. some decorations sitting on tables and shelves. soft christmas music took over the air.

i love this time of year

as we stepped inside the bell on the door rang. there werent a whole bunch of people here but the barista looked up from her station.

"oh ethan, hi! and alana, long time no see." she offered a smile.

"hi ella." ethan replied

"hey ella, it has been a long time."

•

after we ordered our drinks and food we took a table by the window.

ethan got a cappuccino and a turkey sandwich. i got a caramel macchiato and some soup dejour.

i admired ethan as he ate. he really is beautiful. i smiled to myself and continued with my food.

i really don't want to lose him again. i cant.. i don't know what i'd do with myself.

i had kind of went into a daydream and gazed out the window but soon enough ethan snapped his fingers and my full attention was on him again.

"so.." he started

i chewed my lip and fiddled with the coffee mug.

"can you tell me about the day.. exactly how it happened?" i asked unsure. this was what caused us to fight and i wanted to know the whole thing. this was what i needed to know

ethan raised his eyebrow and put his hands in his lap

"if that's what you want"

"it is"

"here goes nothing"

i settled into my seat.. assuming we'd be here for a while

"that morning me and jose and ryan and kelin met up at jose's house. it was like 10, i think. we were just fucking around playing video games. then jose offered everyone a beer. ryan refused but me and kelin took the offer"

ryan never was a party-er or a drinker, so that doesn't surprise me.

"around 1 kelin suggested we take the trucks and drive around town. at this point i was pretty drunk. after we had driven around for about an hour, we wound up the race track. josé tossed me the keys and i stupidly took them, knowing i was in no place to drive. we all were just goofing off and doing donuts. kelin had been burning out pretty bad so the whole track was pretty smoky. ryan was in the back of his truck."

he stopped and looked away

"then jose was fucking around so i was paying attention to him not what was going on in front of the truck, kelin took a sharp turn and ryan wasn't... prepared."

my eyes strung but i didn't cry

"i turned my head back and didn't see ryan in the truck but i kept going thinking that he had climbed in the window or something but he didn't." i was going about 75... then i felt him... under the truck."