Maripolite

Untitled Part 4

"We..." Charles paused "have a daughter?"

"Yes, I was pregnant when your mother made me leave so that I would not ruin your future,"

Charles took his eyes off the road and looked at Nathalie intently he was forced to turn back to the road when another car sounded his horn as he swerved into the wrong lane.

He tried to focus on the road but couldn't stay calm. He had a daughter? She would have to be like sixteen or seventeen years old. Practically a grown woman already! His heart was pumping and the blood in his veins began to burn he pulled the car over to the side of the highway and jumped out of the car slamming the door in an attempt to escape the fire inside, he ran his hands through his hair and paced as he tried to steady his breathing,

He...had...a...daughter, he had known that she was pregnant, but could not understand why she would leave and keep his child from him. His thoughts raced, how could she keep the child from him, why would she do something like that; he had a daughter the thoughts ran through his mind over and over again.

Yes, he thought he wanted to see her, but first, he just needed to say some things which he could not say while driving.

Charles stalked back to the car and a waiting Nathalie inside he opened the door and in as calm a voice as he could muster, he asked "How could you not have told me that you kept our baby. I knew you were pregnant but never have I thought over the last fifteen or so years that you deliberately kept my child away from me." 

His voice escalating as he spoke "What did you feel I would not bear my responsibility; when at that time did I ever give you the impression that I would not want to have a child with you, to raise a child with you, or even if we could not make it that I would leave you to endure the responsibilities of being a parent on your own, the financial responsibilities of being a parent on your own I knew this would be hard on you I knew how important your studies were to you I thought you had an abortion and wanted nothing else to do with me, I thought you wanted your life back, I thought, I thought" Charles took a deep breath and lowered his voice "I thought you did not love me and felt you would be better off without me, men feel hurt too you-know. This is unforgivable. How could you keep me away from my child?" Charles paused to put his hand to his temple and rub hard as he tried to put order to the spew of words that had just exited his body as fire would a dragon, "What is her name?" he asked

"Jessie" Nathalie answered visibly shaken by his response as he looked at her he was unable to hide his disgust

"Jessie, that's a boy's name" Charles stated, "I thought I had a daughter" Nathalie did not answer.

As his disturbance at the news settled he again noticed how upset Nathalie was and crying again though she tried hard to mask the tears and stay serene, his irritation and resentment hadn't yet subsided but he found the restraint to continue on a calmer note and asked "Why did you leave before we had discussed it further. I know I was surprised but I was in my twenties and having fun, who wouldn't be at that news and yet still in my confusion I committed to you, I don't understand how you could have disappeared from school, from the life you wanted, from me. It truly hurt me deeply and I want you to know that it really did."

Charles paused "I didn't tell mother but I would have and we would have dealt with it together, I don't understand where and when the plan changed, that's all – it hurt me so to not be able to reach you" Charles stopped, waiting for Nathalie to respond her words were not forthcoming still he waited, he needed to know.

"I saw you" she sniffled "with the cheerleader after the game and I had my hand over my stomach, I was happy that we were going to do this together, I was happy to know that you loved me so, I was so lost in my joy that I did not see your mother, I didn't know she was there. She saw me looking at the both of you, you were smiling and laughing and touching each other and she, she pointed out how much better she was for you. Caroline, she thought Caroline was better for you and at that moment I agreed" Nathalie turned to face Charles "she had always wanted you and you never pushed her away you allowed her to keep coming, but promised me your love and gave her so much of your joy"

She paused to catch her breath through the tears and snot that now freely ran down her face as there were no spectators, she awkwardly and abrasively wiped the tears from her face and smeared the snot across her cheeks in the process, she continued he observed as lucidly as she could "She; your mother, put two and two together and asked me what I was holding when she saw how I gripped my belly and asked if I was pregnant, I didn't answer and she proceeded to point out how much I would ruin you and how they would disown you if you had a child by a thwart like me and oh all kinds of horrible things, I could not defend myself and you were not there to defend me, so much for your love Charles, you never really wanted me you wanted your money and your prestige I was just another notch on your belt." 

Nathalie said looking into his eyes as the truth settled "So after your mother scared me with her threats, I went back to my dorm, I packed, I took what little money I had and I left and you never even noticed, you never tried to find me, you were too busy being treated like a king to worry about your peasant girlfriend so I left as your mother suggested, I left and have spent over fifteen years of my life taking care of the child your mother said would ruin you to save you and wondering what could've been, I have been all alone and you have been happy in the castle with the cheerleaders and I have not been a thought have I" her sarcasm emanated "Your mother pushed me out of your life and you let her, you let her" She allowed her tears to consume her wiping her face in her arms and her top as she settled into the car seat and shuddered.

The truth was out and Charles was speechless and sad that he hadn't noticed. He knew his mother did not like Nathalie but to threaten her like that and never tell him that she had spoken with her about the baby; he would have to have a conversation with mother. He focused his attention on Nathalie and he knew he could not calm her with words, he wanted to touch her make her feel at peace and let her know that he was there for her now and she was not alone anymore but would she let him. 

He reached to touch her shoulders and she let him, he slowly pulled her closer as he leaned into her so that he could rest her head on his chest; he rested his head on hers as her sobs soaked his crisp white shirt he smelled her hair it was not as sweet as he remembered it was musty and greasy he smelled it still he wanted to feel her pain so that he could fix it.

He kissed her hair and then leaned back putting his finger under her chin and raising her head as her shudders subsided slightly, he kissed her forehead and then lightly kissed her lips her eyes were closed and he could see the tears still squeezing themselves forcibly through her eyelids unrelenting and determined he kissed her lips again and she pulled back and dipped her head forcing him to adjust his arm over her shoulders but he persisted and lifted her face to him again and this time he kissed her harder not allowing her to pull away. 

Nathalie relaxed in his arms, he tasted her tears and she began to relax as he pulled her close once more putting his arms around her again and releasing her from his kiss "I promise" he said "I promise to never leave you again, I promise"

They began their journey again and the silence was still there but the tension was not, the bomb had been detonated the rest of the cleanup should be palatable.

"Where is Jessie now? Charles asked

After a short pause, Nathalie responded "She's at the hospital"

"Why?" he exclaimed with a frown

"She tried to kill herself a few weeks ago and fell into a coma. She has been at Chicago General since."

The features on Charles's face became distorted he pushed on the gas and headed there immediately.