Him & Her

xvi. Her

"Hey, you okay?"

I'm not okay.

How can I be?

He's touching me. 

I can feel his grip on my arm.

Cold bare skin against mine.

The question is one of concern,

But the look on his face says otherwise.

He's looking right at me,

As if memorizing every detail.

And I can't help but feel exposed,

My face so close to him,

My freckles, my flaws, showing.

And then I look at him,

All perfectly pale.

Pale like a swan, on a beautiful lake.

Perfect, like an angel, obviously in the wrong place.

I was us to stay like this.

I want him to stay with me like this.

I want him to stay.

I want him.

But I can never have him.

How could a girl like me,

Full of flaws and words that'll never leave her lips,

Have a boy like him,

All perfect, as if sent by God himself?

I snap out of my trance,

I can't look at him anymore.

It's only going to come back to me in the dark of the night.

And hurt like hell.

And I'm going to wake up crying tears of frustration.

And so I shake off his grip, 

"S-s-s-sorry" I stutter, but I don't think he heard it,

And then I run away, 

Blushing furiously all the way home.

And only then do I realize,

I said something to him.

Not that it matters.

But maybe, just maybe, it does?