Him & Her

xviii. Her

it's 2 am.

I'm dreaming. 

The sky is limitless above me. 

I can feel the grass tickling my feet.

And then I can feel your presence next to me.

I'm dreaming, but with open eyes.

I can feel your blue eyes on me.

And I'm temped to look back at you.

But I'm also terrified.

Terrified of being lost in them,

Terrified you'll expect me to say something.

Terrified of how I feel about you.

Terrified of the power they hold over me.

I don't know if I can keep hiding anymore.

I don't know if it will be the same.

And I should be happy, 

I've suffered the silence too long.

I've suffered the indifference for too long.

But I'm not happy.

I'm scared.

I'm terrified.

I have so much to say to you,

But I can't do it.

I can only speak in actions, not words.

But what if you don't understand?

And why would you understand?

I am scared to go back.

I am scared of what could happen.

And yet here I am,

Smiling just a little,

Reminscing over our little moments today,

Overthinking every action, every little word,

Dreaming about your eyes,

Imagining what it would be like,

To call you mine.

Don't say anything, 

Saying anything will ruin everything.

Just tell me in actions, 

In hidden signs, that you love me

I'll understand.

I'm far too deep.

I'm far too gone.

I don't think I can ignore it anymore.

I don't think I hold the power.

I don't think I can control myself anymore.

I'm all yours.

I need your touch.

I need the smell of your lemon, your mint

I can't hide myself behind bookshelves anymore.

And watch you secretly,

From the gaps in between.

I want more.

And I'm scared you'll run away.

But I'm also scared you won't.

And yet, I can't help it.

I want more of you.

2:05.