DISCLAIMER ********************
If yall don't wanna read my venting chapter skip this chapter I REPEAT SKIP THIS CHAPTER if you dont wanna enter my mindset. I will be talking about X. So if you guys are sensitive to that also DONT READ THE CHAPTER
Hear we go yall. Ok so I haven't been the happiest since Jahseh passed. See I found out about jahseh late 2015 early 2016. Once I found him i was happy. I was happy cause i wasn't hurting as much when I listened to his music. Everyday i would juss get happier and happier and I loved that feeling. People told me to stop looking for happiness in people... i should've listened cause look at me now. Jahseh was my happiness and now that he is gone i feel like shit. I'm not that happy anymore. Jah has a huge impact on my life. I am still sensitive to the whole situation. I try to talk to other people about it but they never understand where i'm Coming from. I've had people tell me i was "obsessed" with jahseh or I've been told that i'm Being "extra". So i don't really talk about my feelings anymore. But today i juss feel so fed up and so depressed that i had to write it. I felt like i should tell yall cause this is the reason for me taking weeks or days for me to update a chapter. I have been dealing with so much shit and I'm trying to get through life. Also i'm Having trouble at home so that's another reason why I haven't been posting chapters. My mom have been on my ass all day everyday about stupid shit and that's not helping me with my mental state. Y'all i'm Honestly juss ready to leave this earth. I'm ready to be in a whole nother universe or wherever you go when you die... or i wanna go wherever Jahseh is. Idk i juss wanna be gone i want all the pain to go away. I want all the toxic people out my life.... I juss wanna die and be forgotten if we're being honest here....
