My Happily Never After (On Going)

Chapter 16 - Broken

"From whence you came, you shall remain, until you are complete again."

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Steph's POV

"I want Dash. I want my Dash! I hate you." Nabigla ako sa mga sinabi ko. Nakita ko kung paanong nag bago ang kanyang reaksyon. Natigilan sya at tila namutla gusto kong pag sisihan ang sinabi ko. Gusto ko ito bawiin dahil bakas sa mukha nya ang sakit at pag kabigla sa sinabi ko. But my pride wouldn't let me go further down.

"Please don't say that. Please. I beg of you." He wasn't looking at me or anything in particular. He started to walk to my traveling bag and started taking my clothes. Natigilan ako sa pag iyak. Nabigla ako sa inaasal nya. Gone is the fierce Tim. I chased him. Nakipag agawan ako para sa mga gamit ko pero ayaw nya itong ibigay. Kinuha ko ang mga ibinalik nya sa closet at pilit inempake. Hindi nya ako pinigilan pero patuloy sya sa pag kuha ng gamit. He was crying silently. I felt shattered even more.

"Stop it! Anu ba?!" He did not budge. He continued on doing what he was doing.

"Ano ba?! Timothy! Let me go!" I turned towards the door.

"No!" He shouted at me. I was taken aback. Niyakap nya ako from my back. I felt his head in shoulder. He was crying, nabasa ang balikat ko.

"Ask me anything! Anything at all! Ask me to take my life. Ask me to kill. Ask me to give up everything. Just never ask me to give you up or my heart will stop in an instant. I have loved you all my life. Your the only thing that matters to me and you know that. I can bare with the world forsaking me. Or humanity turning their backs on me but not you. Steph, your the only thing constant in my life. I have done horrible things in my life.Only in your eyes I see forgiveness. Only in your touch I am vindicated." He spoke like it was a prayer.

I didn't talk. Ang hirap sumagot kasi ang sakit sakit ng puso ko. Iyak Lang ako ng iyak. Hanggang sa ngumawa na ulit ako. Umatungal na parang tanga. Doon ko inilabas ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Naramdaman ko ang pagsikip ng dib dib ko. Hindi na ako makahinga. I felt his arms around my neck and legs. Binuhat nya ako bridal style.

"Shhh... Shhhh." Pinapatahan nya ako.

"Stop na princess. Please. Mamaya mahihirapan ka nanaman huminga. Do you need oxygen?" Worry is written all over his face. He cupped my face and kiss my lips lightly. He planted butterfly kisses in my face kissing my tears away. I tried to calm down. But I just can't fresh tears started flowing again. Ang isiping mawawala sya sa akin at mapupunta sa ibang babae ay sadyang napaka sakit. I was so afraid. Takot na takot akong mas gustuhin nya ang mga babaeng kayang ibigay ang lahat sa kanya. Paano kung mag sawa sya?

Paano kung ibigay mo na lang? Sagot ng boses ng utak ko.

I forced myself to stop crying. I have to face my fears. Kung ayaw ko syang mawala dapat handa ako. Handa akong ibigay lahat.

"I want water." Usal ko. Kinakabahan ako.

"Water! Yes! Water." Natataranta syang lumayo sakin at kumuha ng tubig. Inalalayan nya akong maupo at pinainom ako ng tubig. I gulped the pain along with that cold water. I mustered strength from it. Nang maubos ko ito bumaling ako sa kanya.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Hindi ako sumagot instead I held his hand and kissed him. He kissed me back. I partly opened my mouth to let him in. Ang kamay nyang hawak ko ay inilagay ko sa akong dibdib. Natigilan sya at tinignan ako. Unti unting nauubos ang lakas ng loob ko. I held his nape and pulled him against me. I kissed him torridly. I pulled him towards me while I settled on the bed. Humiga sya ng patagilid and cupped my face. Paano ko magagawa ang plano ko kung ayaw nyang makisama? I caught his hands and place it on my bosom. Tila napaso nanaman sya lumayo.

"What are you doing baby?"

What are you doing baby?

What are you doing baby?

Parang nag echo sa utak ko ang mga katagang yun. I bit my lips to stop myself from crying. I looked at him and he looked horrified. Ayaw nya sa akin? He doesn't want to have sex with me?! I ran to the bathroom and immediately locked the door. Agad naman syang sumunod at kinatok ang pinto.

"Baby. Open up. I didn't meant it that way." He's voice was booming. I can sense his distress. He kept on knocking.

"Go away!" I retorted shouting. Inilagay ko ang mga kamay ko sa tenga ko. I never cried so hard in my life. I feel degraded.

"Stephanie! Open the door! Gigibain ko ito!" He was slamming his body against the door. I can hear the loud thud. I kept on crying. Nasusuka ako. Gumapang ako palapit sa bowl. The urge of puking was there pero walang lumabas. I know he can hear me. Mas lalong lumakas ang kalabog, pero mabigat na klase ng pinto ang meron sa banyo. It's lock can only be opened from the inside. One strong push from my stomach at inilabas ko ang dinner na halos di ko naubos kanina. Narinig ko ang mga kagamitang nababasag. Binabato nya siguro sa pinto ang mga gamit. Lalo akong nagiiyak.

I went to the bathtub and opened the shower. Umupo ako sa ilalim ng dutsa at doon itinuloy ang pag iyak. Awang awa ako sa sarili ko. He didn't want me. It was evident. Nagwawala sya sa labas. I heard a loud bang against the door. That's going to leave a mark. Parang wala na ako sa sarili. Tahimik na lang akong lumuluha. Basang basa na ako. I hugged myself. Maybe he doesn't really love me.

"Please. Maawa ka. Steph. Let me explain. I can't have you. We can't do it. You don't know how much I desire you. How much I long to be inside you. To be one with you. But I promised to only take you on our wedding night. Baby. I want to keep you pure. I don't want to stain you. I want you to face the altar standing proud. Deserving that white gown. I ache for you baby. Please understand." He cried hard.

I did not answer. I turned of the shower. I want to believe him. But it was so fucking painful to be pushed back. I feel unwanted and his words can't appease my heart. I cried and cried. Breathing became harder and harder until everything went black.

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From here on focus muna ako sa back stories. :)
Play the video para mas feel... :)

Yung Latin quote from the last chapter eto yung meaning. Yung quote nito. :)

xoxo,
Aphrodite