My Happily Never After (On Going)

Chapter 10 - The fear of knowing

"Jealousy lives upon doubts, it becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty."

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Timothy's POV

She has not uttered a single word since I woke up. I can sense something is bothering her. At pag ganitong tahimik sya nangangatog na ako. She gets crazy and her ideas are always outrageous. She's stubborn palibhasa bata pa. Most of the time she acts on her emotions and its always not good for us. That's the thing about her, once she has decided on something she will never back down. Isang beses ko lang syang nakitang magalit ng lubos and that's when she saw her ex-bestfriend trying to seduce me. Natakot talaga ako sa reactions nya she would have killed the her with her bare hands if dash and I weren't there. She abjured her and did not talk to me for a month. It was pure hell. Kung hindi pa ako lumuhod sa harap nya she wouldn't have forgave me. I even had to force that bitch to confess on cam. She cleared my name and she was shaking as she admitted her plan. Even then she was cold to me and it took so much effort just for her to trust me again.

I'm staring at her as she stared in to oblivion deeply buried in her thoughts. I don't know what to say or how to strike a conversation. I reached for the glass of water in front of me and drank out of nervousness.

"When was the last time you had sex?" She asked not looking at me, still staring at nothing in particular. Her face was void with emotions. Halos mabilaukan ako sa tanong nya.

"What?" *cough* *cough* "ehem... Ehem.." I cleared my throat. I wanted to ask her what's wrong but that was the only word that came out of my mouth.

Napabuntong hininga sya at tumungin sakin. Diretso nya akong tinignan sa mata. "When was the last time you touched a woman?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Ano bang dapat mong isagot sa girlfriend mo kung tanungin ka nya tungkol sa pakikipag talik mo sa iba? Hindi ako santo I have women in my life. Faceless, nameless woman who satisfies me in bed but I never return the favor. I never touch them. Steph and I are on a complicated relationship. She is too young for things like this. I respect her too much. I wont deny the insatiable desire that I have for her but that is because I love her so much. At most times I don't know how I find release with other women. After the incident with her best friend she spoke to me and told me she understands that I have needs she can't fulfill right now and so she gave me the license to fuck someone else. Yes, as she word it "just fuck". I am a man I do have needs. I can control my urges thats true considering the love I feel for her, I can go without sex until our marriage. But I don't want to lose my virginity with her. I want to know this things for her. I need to be able to satisfy her. Kumbaga kaylangan praktisado at bihasa na pag dating sa kanya. And I keep everything under the rug. Anyways that's the only thing she asked I must do everything discreetly and I followed that rule like its one of the 10 commandments. So this question makes me really anxious.

"Fine if you don't want to tell me then just tell me who summer is!" Halata na ang galit sa mukha nya. Sa titig nyang nakakatakot sumagot ng mali.

"She's... She's the granddaughter of granny Margaret's best friend." Iyon naman talaga ang totoo.

"Do not do what you would undo if caught." Binaling nya ang tingin nya sa kawalan. Nanlamig ang akong pakiramdam. Alam nya ba? Pasimple kong sinisilip ang expression ng mukha nya pero kalmado lang sya walang mababakas na galit pero pormal.

"She's no one in particular hon. She's Granny Annamae's grand daughter. What's wrong?" I must stand my ground. Masasaktan lang sya pag nalaman nyang siya ang babaeng gusto ng Granny para sa akin. Although it's Granny has been open about not liking her for me.

"We only confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no big ones." She spoke still not looking at me.

Tangna kabado na talaga ako. Does she have an idea? Nabigla ako ng bigla syang tumayo at nag lakad papunta sa dagat. Gusto ko syang sundan pero hindi ko naman alam ang sasabihin ko. Fuck! Bahala na! And so I called Dash...

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Thank you S,M, and L...

Try to know Timmy more you'll like him.

UNEDITED

xoxo

Aphrodite