Insatiable (UNDERGOING REWRITES)

Chapter 20 : Julian Mason

"You don't get to just storm out here in a huff just because you decide this is over."

I only managed to get out of the building for five minutes before Nolan was coming after me. I didn't turn. I didn't stop. Just kept walking further away from the arcade. I had no idea where I was going, but I knew it didn't matter. Or that I would be okay as I heard the slapping of Nolan's shoes behind me.

I could only kick myself for those thoughts. I didn't need any protecting. If anything, people needed protecting from me.

I turned the corner, noticing the buildings came to a halt where trees loomed and a park was sitting instead. I headed straight for it, not looking behind me.

When I came to sit on one of the swings, Nolan was standing in front of me. He caught the chains as I tried to swing away from him, pulling to a halt as he looked down at me.

"Are you done yet?"

"Are you done yet, baby? Putting up a fight is only going to hurt you more than it will hurt me. And I know you don't want to hurt me. Isn't that right, baby? Just be quiet and take it like the good boy you are."

I squeezed my eyes shut to block everything else out. But I still saw his face, and then Nolan's.

"There's going to be nobody else that will want you the way I do. Nobody is ever going to fall for a slutty bitch who would drop his pants for anyone and anything. Just be thankful I found it in my cold heart to give you the time of day. To care for you when no one else will. But right now you're being a brat who needs to be punished––"

When I opened my eyes again, Nolan had leaned forward as if to get a better look at me. Just looking up into his face made me furious as how incredibly handsome I thought he was. And then made me more furious at myself for thinking that.

I couldn't go through this again. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I just wanted peace.

"I'll be done when you leave me alone," I muttered, looking away from Nolan and trying to back the swing away from him, but he just moved with me until we were both standing in the pit under the metal bar, swing dangling by the backs of my thighs.

"Are you done yet, so I can speak now?"

I rolled my eyes, but said nothing.

"You asked me why I was getting upset. I want to know why you're getting upset. I want to know who hurt you so bad that you can never trust again, can never let yourself go and feel things. Be happy. That's all I want, Julian. Is to see you smile, to see your eyes crinkle from the force. I just want to see you happy and be yourself."

He took a step forward, his hands still holding onto the chains of the swing tight enough so I couldn't move away from him. I had to crane my neck back just to look into his eyes because of how close he was now. If I breathed deep enough, our chests would brush against one another.

"For the first time in a long time, I don't care about sex."

I snorted at that which made Nolan smirk.

"Honestly? I haven't really thought about bedding you in awhile. Don't give me that look. Sure, I think about it on occasion––I am a young guy, we're horny a lot. But I think about it in the context of what you would look like laying on a bed of roses. How your skin would look in contrast to red roses. Or white ones. Or pink or any color I could find.

"Mostly I think of how beautiful you are. I think about how you might look in the center of a kitchen, the smell of fresh cooked cookies, the mess you've made of the space and yourself. I think about you reading in a nook, sunshine streaming through the window and surrounding you in an otherworldly glow. I think about you talking my ear off about the latest book your've read, or an assignment you want to give that you're incredibly excited about.