Insatiable (UNDERGOING REWRITES)

Chapter 25 : Julian Mason

*earlier that day*

I couldn't look at him.

And it was driving me insane.

Ever since that night at Poison, after I gave Nolan a blowjob, and he called me beautiful. . . I just snapped. It just reminded me of another life, another time. Similar praises after similar acts, only they were more harmful than anything. And I knew for a fact I did not look beautiful in that moment. Cum still on my lips, lipstick smeared everywhere and mascara running, hair a tangled mess. There is nothing beautiful about that picture. I've seen it enough times in the mirror, I would know.

I felt horrible about the whole thing. I certainly didn't want to hurt Nolan, and I knew I was hurting him by not even speaking to him for the last three days. But this is what I do. I shut down completely when things start getting triggering for me. Even though I told myself I wouldn't do this, it's hard to break habit.

I blinked up at Mateo, trying to remember what we were talking about. I don't even remembering ending my class, or Mateo stopping me before I could hide away in my office. But here we are, and Mateo was laying it on thick today. I could tell by the way he leaned towards me, slick smirk on his face and somehow making his eyes twinkle. If I didn't already have feelings for another man, I'd be all over Mateo. But now he was just an annoyance to me, and in my way. The last three days he's been trying to corner me to talk and flirt with me. Once upon a time, I was definitely all for that. But now. . .

"So are you free tonight?"

I blinked at Mateo again, trying to keep my eyes focused when I knew for a fact Nolan was looking at me. "Um, I can't. I'm going to the game tonight."

Mateo didn't hide his disappointment, giving me a pout. "I didn't think you were a fan of football. I actually didn't think you were a sports fan."

I kind of want to strangle him. But I would definitely lose my job. That's probably second after dating one of my students.

I gave a shrug. "Just want to support my students is all. School spirit and all that jazz."

Mateo chuckled, but somehow was able to keep that pout perfectly on his face. He must get all the guys and girls with that look. "Maybe another time then. I really want to take you to this great restaurant the next town over. It's become one of my favorites in the last two months I've been going. I know you'll love it."

You don't know what I love, Mateo. And here's a hint: definitely not this, definitely won't be you.

"Oh, well, actually––"

"Mr. Mason!"

I leaned around Mateo seeing Caleb come back into the classroom, books clutched to his chest and backpack sagging against his back.

Oh thank the fucking lord.

"Caleb! What's wrong?" I asked, moving around Mateo and giving Caleb my full attention. His eyes darted to Mateo and then back to me before he plastered on a tight smile.

"Um, I-I just wanted to t-talk to you ab-bout the assignment for the w-weekend." He looked at Mateo pointedly and then back at me. I gave him a smile and nodded before looking back at Mateo.

"Sorry, can we finish that later? I need to speak with a student."

Mateo nodded, now looking more pissed off than disappointed. He gave me a curt farewell before leaving Caleb and I alone.

I gestured to one of the chairs in the front row but Caleb just shook his head. Instead he looked around to make sure we were alone.

"Wear lingerie."