Insatiable (UNDERGOING REWRITES)

Chapter 41 : Caleb Ryan

"I can't do this."

"You have to, baby. He deserves to know."

"But everything that's happened..."

"You're his best friend. He deserves to know."

Ezra pressed his cheek against mine from behind before giving me a kiss on the back of my head and pulling away. I looked over my shoulder at him, but he was already looking ahead. I followed suit, squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath.

It had been a week since everything happened with Julian. A week since my best friend's world shattered and was remade. A week since everything happened with Ezra and I. A week since Ezra expressed his feelings and wishes of a future with me. A week since I realized Ezra was the only man for me.

But it had been only three days since I decided to accept Ezra's offer and move with him to San Francisco.

We were still working out the details––we had time. Ezra had told the hospital he wanted to finish the semester at least. I told Ezra I wanted to finish my sophomore year with my friends, with Nolan. He would go down to Los Angeles once the semester was over, find an apartment and start his training at the hospital. I would stay here, finish my year, before joining Ezra in L.A. It wasn't ideal, to be apart for a few months when our relationship was just beginning. But it gave us time to get to know each other too. Still, not ideal to do it across hundreds of miles, but Ezra swore we would make it work. He was still trying to work it out with the hospital, seeing if he could start sometime next year, closer to the end of the school year. He was close to coming to a compromise, maybe part time at either place.

I could tell he would do anything to make me happy, and if that meant pushing his whole start at the hospital back until next summer, then he would. Just to stay with me. I've had to repeatedly assure him that for me to be happy, Ezra needed to be happy. And going to Los Angeles to start his job as a surgeon was what was going to make him happy.

"Yes, but you make me happy, Caleb. More than a silly job."

"It isn't silly."

"Hush, baby. We're gonna make this work. I promise you."

The small argument always ended the same way. With those same sentences, same promises. I've lived with a lot of empty and broken promises in my life. I would do anything so that the ones between Ezra and me stuck.

To do that, I needed to start by telling my best friend I was leaving.

I guess this whole build up for me is a little dramatic. But I wouldn't be me without a bit of drama. I wasn't leaving for a few more months, and even when I did leave, it wasn't like I was going across the country. It was only six hours away, completely manageable for visits. But it wouldn't be the same.

Nolan and I have been with each other for years. We grew up together, decided on the same college to stay together. And now I was breaking that promise.

Dammit.

"Nolan?" I tapped said man on the shoulder and he turned, beaming down at me.

We hadn't seen much of each other these past few days. Really, we haven't seen each other these past few weeks. Nolan was too preoccupied with Julian. And I...I fought the urge to look behind me at Ezra. I couldn't be scared anymore.

Nolan wrapped me under one of his arms, squeezing me into his side. Julian smiled at us from Nolan's other side.

Maybe this wasn't the best place to talk. We were at Lover's Poison...on a Sunday, which meant there was less than half the usual people in the building. It was by far less crowded, less noisy...more of a chill-hangout scene than an actual club. Nolan was the one that suggested we all come, after Drake––one of the bartenders––invited us all. Something about big news? I had only just met the man a few weeks ago, but I wouldn't say no to hanging out with my friends.