Learning to love

34

Day:1950

Jimin's p.o.v

I looked at the clock. It was nine in the evening. I sighed; Nico hasn't yet come out of his room. I bit the inside of my cheeks, opening my phone. I opened my gallery and went through the old photos. Tears formed in my almost immediately. Though looking at the old photos brought me a whole lot of pain, I always found myself enclosed in them.

The photos triggered a bomb of love, pain, nostalgia, and warmth inside me.

I lost so much, almost everything and all that was left was locked in this gadget or encased behind those photo frames.

My everything locked into something so fragile, or in something that could be lost so easily, yet I clutched onto them like my life depended on them. And maybe it did.

I thought of all the time, my friends my found me lying unconscious on the floor, or locked up in my room, or all those sleepless nights. And every time I had his picture close to my heart.

I thought of all the times, when the only way I could sleep was when I had the reassurance that his photo was near me. Or the only way I could fall asleep was drugging me with his voice recorded in that device. It became a daily routine to hear his recording at least twice a day otherwise I could feel myself inching away from sanity.

My pills didn't work.

My therapy didn't work

The only thing that worked was the little bit of happiness and magic he left behind.

Forcing myself to look away from the photos, I closed my phone ad rubbed off the tears. At that moment my eyes fell onto the old CD of Coco and idea sparked off in my head.

~

I looked at the arrangement one more time.

Pillows?

Check

Blankets?

Check

Popcorns?

Check

Coco?

Big Check

Okay good...now go call him.

I smiled to myself and knocked on the door of Yoongi's room. My eyebrows furrowed when I got no reply. I tried to turn the knob and luckily the door was unlocked. When I went in I saw Nico sitting on the bed, listening to the recordings in Suga, his eyes closed, tears falling down and staining his face.

He didn't seem to acknowledge my presence. I walked towards him with soft footings and sat down beside him. He eyes flurried open and widen when he saw me.

I smiled at him softly and wiped off his tears. Gently I touched our foreheads together, and placed his hand on my chest, hoping he could feel my heart go out of control. I did the same for him, feeling his heart beat at a high pace.

I looked deeps into his eyes, so that he could see the sincerity behind the words I was going to speak.

"Not a day went by that I didn't wish to go back in time, to re-do all of the mistakes I did. To go back to my previous self and hit him hard on his head so that he could at least get some sense into himself. Baby, I could say sorry till my last breathe and I know, even then it wouldn't be enough for what I have done to you. I was so stupid, so blind that I failed to see the beauty beside me and I hate myself knowing that it took so much to realize that. I know it is shameless of me to ask for forgiveness but yet here I am... and I hope and maybe you could forgive me...even a little and give me a chance to redeem myself. To show what I feel for you... and as of now all I want to say that is..."