Secrets untold

Trust me not

Today,October 15 2020

Sound of the birds chirping woke me up."Wait i went back home???"i murmured.I couldn't remember what happened to me last night,but crying.I heard shouting outside of my room.It got louder and louder as i step closer to the door.I opened the door."You little piece of shit"Felix yelled coming closer to me."Felix!Stop it!"Chan shouted out loud.I walked back as he comes closer to me.I stopped because i already hit the wall.I bumped my head as i lean back to the wall."Piece of shit you kissed my girlfriend!"Felix yelled at my face.

-Jisung's p.o.v-

What?!?! How?,what happened did Jennie cross the line?!?!."Can i see the evidence"I said seriously."Ugh evidence my ass here"He gave me his phone with a picture of me kissing his girlfriend."That isn't me!"I exclaimed."Well Jennie told me"Felix said crying.Chan went over to him soothing him.I never felt so dumb,believing Jennie no way.

Finally anxiety talking to me."Just fucking say the truth Jisung!"Felix yelled."I am telling you the truth!" I defended myself."Chan hyung who do you trust?"I had faith in my eyes.
"F-felix,i'm sorry Jisung"Chan hesitated before saying it."So you all believe him and Jennie?"I said tears falling."Ofcourse they believe me!your just an outcast!"Felix said.I never knew that kind of words would come out of his mouth.It hit me,like arrows to my heart.I finally got the courage to say:"F-felix i-i'm g-gay"i yelled running to my room crying.

-Felix's p.o.v-

I felt so bad,even i can't believe what i said."He's g-gay?"Hyunjin whispered."Felix how could those words come out of you"Chan said disappointed."Chan leave him be"Woojin said."Why?"Chan said."Jisung needs time alone"
Woojin said.

-Jisung's p.o.v-  

I am an outcast.Why do i keep being a burden for them.I'm always so needy.Why do i drag them to my
Problems.Where is my knife?.I started rummaging through cabinets.Here it is.I didin't hesitate to do it at all.I started cutting away more than expected.But it got up from my satisfaction.I sighed of relief after cutting myself.Now that they know i'm gay,they will never like me anym-
ore.They hate me now but the weight from my shoulder is of now.I want to die,i want to leave this cruel place that we call earth.I hate myself there is not a thing i like about myself.I-i'm sorry F-felix.I broke down in tears.
I-i'm sorry everyone that i was your
friend.Maybe if i leave and never come back,maybe they would be happy.I never see them happy anyways when they are with me.I should just be invisible.I felt like i had to throw up because of lack of food.I was coughing,when i looked at my hands there was blood.I-i was coughing blood.I freaked out.I tried to get help but i remembered it was impossible to get help in this situation
.I almost threw up at my bed.I rushed to the bathroom gagging.After finally reaching the toilet i started puking.It was b-blood.The toilet became so bloody.I panicked and started cleaning it up.After i cleaned it up i went back to my room.I was starving but i knew i wouldn't eat anything.I overheard the members outside of my room."I will be l-leaving this group guys"I heard those words i couldn't believe.I think Woojin hyung said it.I cried even more.But i started to think that they were just making me go out of my room.Conclusions in my head.I didin't believe it.I hope its fake,until i heard real sobbing.My heart ached.I blamed it on me if it was true.My whole life is falling apart.I'm depressed,i have anxiety,my members hate me and now? Woojin hyung is leaving!?Great just fucking great i can't live without him.Stray kids wouldn't be complete.And shouldn't i leave instead of him?

I fucking hate my life.I want to end all
Of this bullshit.I fucked up once and now i'm fucking everything up."Shit i don't want to live"

Love-Underrated
Life-I hate it
Live-Should i? 

3 L's that make me wonder.